Rule as Equals (Meant to Be My Balance #2)

Chapter 28

Aleksander only returned to the room after I'd turned off the lights and left the room in darkness. It was no surprise he was most comfortable approaching me in the shadows, but that wasn't how this marriage would work. As soon as he shrugged off his kefta, I sat up with narrowed eyes.

He ignored me.

"We need to talk."

Didn't even glance my way as he stripped to his sleeping pants.

"Aleksander."

He sighed like he did when Nochi spilled ink on his important documents while padding across his desk.

"Why didn't you tell me the people feared you again? What other threats am I not privy to because I have a baby now?"

"Sleep, Alina."

He was patronizing me.

"I want answers, and I have the right to answers. You saw what our servants were like today—they knelt for me, despite all the experience and fear you love to flaunt." I was important, just like the servants had showed me, just like Nikolai had said. And I was tired of Aleksander treating me like I wasn't. Tears stung my eyes.

He nodded, bored, as he slid into bed.

"I'm your wife," I croaked.

"Yes, you are."

"I'm carrying your baby."

"Our baby," he said, almost gently. I hated him, hated how the soft correction in a low voice could make it so easy to ignore his anger.

Aleksander held his arm out so I could slide into his chest whenever I wanted to. He was physically letting me in, but it meant nothing when every question was met with silence, with annoyance, with the same secrets growing like a wall between us.

"I heard you're violent," I said. "Irrational. Uncontrollable. In your meetings at the Little Palace."

He shrugged, like it didn't really matter.

"Is that true?"

"Worrying is doing no good for the baby."

He always did that—reminded me of the baby like it was a trump card that would make me acquiesce to his demands. I was ashamed by the fact that oftentimes, it did.

"What's going on in Shu Han?"

His eyes flared, the first notice of any reaction from him. "Nothing you need to worry about." His grip was firm as he gave me no more choices, pulling me into his arms, his thumb running along my cheekbone. If he put me to sleep, I was going to kill him.

"Stop keeping secrets," I whispered. "Not from me. I thought it was us against the world."

"I'm sorry, Alina," he said, sounding genuinely remorseful on his silence—on the things he couldn't give me, as he pressed his lips to the top of my head.

But when I asked him again, when I insisted for the truth, for answers, he shut me out again, returning to the cold, dark husband that locked me in gilded palaces and kissed me goodnight with lying lips.

***

When I woke up, the bedsheets were cold. He had brought a tray of food, knowing about my early morning cravings that had replaced the morning sickness.

I wasn't petty enough to ignore the waffles, but I did gobble them down with a big frown, courtesy of my husband. When I was awake enough, I tied my noticeably white hair back and slipped a hood on, concealing most of my features as I trekked through the Grand Palace and avoided the guards who patrolled a little too consistently to be considered good protectors.