Chasing Dreams

Twenty-Third Dream

I couldn't even blink my eyes as I am looking at the man who has same eyes as me. It's been a while since I last saw him and I didn't expect that this day will come again too soon.

I immediately composed myself and walked past through him. The moment I opened the door and enter, he followed.

Patuloy lamang ako sa paglalakad na para bang isa siyang hangin na hindi ko makita. Mas mabuti na 'yon dahil hindi ko alam kung ano ang mga pwede kong masabi sa kanya. I hope he gets the signal and just leave me alone. Sanay naman akong wala siyang pakialam. This won't make a difference anyway.

"Won't you stop it and faced me." His authorative voice gets into me.

I smirked and lightly shook my head.

Matagal man kaming hindi nagkita ay hindi pa rin siya nagbabago. I don't think he wanted to do so anyways. Matagal na akong sumuko na magbabago pa siya. He's the worst for me. Siya kasama ang isa pa niyang pamilya.

I faced him now. "Don't worry. Aalis din ako rito kapag nakaipon na ako kung 'yan man ang dahilan kung bakit ka nagpunta rito."

"Alaina, this is not about that. Ni hindi mo man lang sa akin sinabi na nakapagdebut ka na pala. I am still your father," he said with emphasis on the last sentence.

"Oh really? Because honestly you are never were to me, Jaime."

He sighed. "Kung iyon ang dahilan kung bakit ayaw mong magcelebrate ng debut mo ay sana sinabi mo para na-resched na lang natin."

"At sa tingin mo papayag ang mag-ina mo?" I asked and he didn't answer.

Just like what I thought.

He's only good at making empty promises. But at the end of the day, he'll choose what her illegitimate daughter wants.

"Look. Hindi ko na kayo ginugulo pa tulad ng gusto niyong gawin ko. Pero kayo 'tong panay lapit nang lapit sa akin. You even deprived me of my rights, and now you're here as if I am the root of all of this mess."

"That's not what I intended."

"Don't act as if you care because I know the truth. You never did and I guess, you will never do." I turned my back on him and started walking away. Natigil nga lang iyon nang magsalita siyang muli.

"Ganyan na ba talaga katigas ang ulo mo? Naabot mo lang ang pinagmamalaki mong pangarap ay kung umasta ka na parang sino. Ni wala kang utang na loob sa lahat nang ginawa at binigay namin sa'yo ni Ariana."

"Utang na loob?" I laughed with no humor in it when I faced him again. "Wala akong utang na loob sa inyo. Dahil sa pagkakaalam ko, responsibilidad niyo akong dalawa ni mommy. You two brought me into this world even if you both knew how wrecked your marriage was. Mom treated me as something that will repair your broken marriage. You treated me as someone who stole your supposed to be life.

"Anong alam ko sa problema niyong dalawa? Ano bang nagawa kong kasalanan para magawa mo pa akong sumbatan dahil sa totoo lang, ikaw din naman, marami kang pagkukulang and then you expect me to be the daughter you wanted when in the first place, you never wanted me."

"Don't make a drama out of this."

"I am not. I am only stating a fact. Kung masaya ka na kasama ang babaeng mahal mo at ang nag-iisa niyong anak, eh di sige. Choice mo 'yan. I won't compel you to be a father to me. Matagal na akong tapos sa stage na 'yon."

I then turned my back on him once again, yet this time, I continued on walking straight ahead without looking back.

I sighed as soon as I entered my room. So much for having a great day. Matagal ko nang binitawan ang pag-asang magkaroon ng masayang pamilya. It won't happen na rin naman given that mom left us for good. Napagod na rin siguro siya pagkatapos ng lahat na paghahabol na ginawa niya. Wala na rin namang pinagbago si daddy. At isa pa, hinding-hindi ko matatanggap sila Sheila at Kristina bilang parte ng pamilya ko. My family is far from perfect, but I'll choose it over and over again than to have a family filled with golddiggers.