Chasing Dreams

Fortieth Dream

I stared at the pair of the most cherished shoe I have for years. I may be a huge collector of shoes but it doesn't change the fact that it holds the biggest part in my life. The person who I grew up to be my mother gifted that to me, and ever since that day, I treated it like some kind of treasure.

I smiled before I took the heels next to that one.

Yeah. The one gifted to me by the great Kevin Aisle, my companion, my knight, my love.

"May I?"

Napabaling ako sa kanya at kahit hindi pa man ako nagsasalita ay kinuha na niya ang sapatos sa kamay ko. He kneeled just to place the heels to my feet.

"You know that I am far from being a damsel in distress. I can do that by my own," saad ko na pilit pang pinapatigas ang boses ko. Yet, the smile I have betrayed me.

"Even so, it is not an excuse for me not to treat you as my princess."

Nang matapos na niyang maisuot sa akin ang sapatos ay tumayo na siya't inilahad sa akin ang kanyang kamay. I smiled before I took it.

"Ready for today?"

"I'm nervous."

He lightly chuckled. Napakunot naman ako ng noo.

"Talagang pinagtatawanan mo pa ako ah." I snickered.

"Everything's going to be fine. Sigurado akong matutuwa sila kapag nakita ka nila."

"I hope so."

He ceased on walking and stared at me. "Where's my confident Alaina? Ilabas mo nga siya."

I didn't say for a word, instead my lips curved into a frown.

"Come on. You've done more stupid things than this. Ngayon ka pa ba kakabahan?" he added.

I bit my lip and averted my gaze from him.

Alam kong natural na makapal naman talaga ang mukha ko. I can perform all day in front of a crowd, sing my heart out with VIP's watching, dance like nobody is present, but I couldn't help to feel nervous.

Paano kung hindi nila gusto ang presensya ko roon?

Paano kung mali ang desisyon?

But then, why am I having second thoughts right now? This is not the time for that. I may have done bad decisions in the past but I don't regret any of it.

Mistakes make a person a human. And knowing that I did everything that I could won't gave me any regrets at all. If hindi man umayon sa plano ko ang tadhana then maybe it is still not the time, or there's a greater road awaiting for me at least.

Wala dapat akong pagsisihan. Regrets are only for those who have weak hearts.

I drew a deep breath before I took a step out from my car. Seeing the beautiful house in front of me brings me nostalgia. This is the place kung saan ko minsan sinundan si Aisle. I am too crazy for him back then that I even looked like a freaking stalker. I may deny my feelings to him thousands of times before, but it doesn't change the fact that I still chased him before like crazy.

And when I thought, what I am feeling for him is a mere infatuation, it grew stronger and stronger that I am ready to leave everything behind for him even my own pride.

"Here goes," I whispered before I press the doorbell as my other hand tightened my hold on my embellished microphone.

I'm so glad you made time to see me
How's life? Tell me, how's your family?
I haven't seen them in a while
You've been good, busier than ever
We small talk, work and the weather
Your guard is up and I know why