Codependence is a Crime

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I wonder when I will be in the arms of a comfort so pristine.
I won't have to call dirt, "my diamonds".
I won't have to argue to be treated like someone
with a heart, mind, arms, legs, eyes, tears, smile,
and a voice just like yours.

I don't want to be experiencing anything anymore,
I am through with extreme moments
where my throat feels like an explosive and
I'm not one for frustration truly,
I'm tired.

I rather be killed for I have no more energy against you.
I still want to scream but I know
silence will be knocking me out in the future.
Lately, I only want to be happier.
I only want peace, and if I express myself,
I know it will be the end of me.
Resentment of my life sometimes,
takes me on a journey.
A journey where the end comes back to the beginning,
and I have to live with
people who can't stand me.

But I give it all up.
I give everything up
because no one around me will stand by me.
I float in the ocean until I am pulled
somewhere else.
I float until I am consumed,
or have the tools to rescue me.

Will I ever be on solid ground?
Will God grant me stability?

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