PLAY THE PART | mileven

nineteen

something majorly shifted.

something shifted for the past, something shifted in the present, something shifted for the future. something shifted within herself.

the picture she used to have of her high school years alternated into something a lot more different than how she remembered it.

the whispers she heard about mike back then suddenly turned into shrilling screams in her head, the nasty sideway glances snuck in his direction haunted her mind as an act of punishment.

to remind her that she had failed him back then. to remind her that she quietly contributed to everything.

he's okay now, she wants to wholeheartedly believe that — but the guilt she's feeling for all those silent years was eating her alive.

if she could go back in time with what she knows now, she is sure that wouldn't stay so passive.

maybe she wouldn't have the confidence to speak up against everyone but she would try to check up on him, try to make sure that he's fine.

but those are unnecessary and stupid thoughts — she can't go back in time and dwelling on the past is causing nothing but beating a dead horse.

the shift she felt is because she's with him now.

warm tears created paths on her cheeks that left stains behind, she could feel how swollen her eyes and lips felt or how disheveled she must look to him.

but he wiped those tears with the pads of his fingers, he held her until she succumbed into his comfort and started to believe him — that it's okay now: he is with her, he is with his friends.

she doesn't know how long she laid in his arms but once her tears dried for good, he slipped her out of his grasp and threw himself into the shower.

she took the lonely minutes by herself to gather her thoughts and not seem like a mess. it already took a lot of courage for him to open up about that and she doesn't want him to regret it by making him feel like she's pitying him.

after he got out of the shower, she slipped in next. she used the water to clean herself from the dirt that clung on her for the longest time.

before she walked out of the bathroom, she dressed in her red pleaded skirt and a turtleneck sweater all while rubbing her short hair dry.

she noticed that he was already halfway dressed when walking back to their joint bedroom. his unbuttoned jeans were hanging lowly around his waist as he rubbed his damp curls with a towel.

once he caught a glimpse of her, he shot her a smile over through pressed lips. "feeling any better?"

"yeah, i feel well." she smiled back, settling her hip against a tiny desk. "did the others text us to meet?"

he nodded his head, lowering the towel to put it on the bed. "they wait for us for breakfast and said that we have to check out at twelve pm."

"i'll be ready in a second." she turned around and walked towards the mirror hanging on the wall, "just have to fix my hair and i'm finished."

she reached forward to grasp a brush from her bag, combing it through her hair gently. through the mirror she could notice mike looking at her, opening his mouth every once in a while as if he wanted to say something.

"how about we listen to some music?" he finally said, breaking the silence. "i didn't bring any speaker with me but the phone should suffice, right?"

she locked her eyes with his through his reflection of the mirror. "yes, of course, i mean — sure."