Jokers

14

TW!! - Panic attack. ABUSE!

3rd pov:

The nightmares returned. 

It wasn't like she expected them to just disappear. She just thought it was just nice to wake up without feeling terrified. she thought it was nice to not be scared of going to sleep. 

Tears slid down her face and she curled herself up in the soft blankets, an old habit from when she was just a child. She bought her knees up to her chest and buried her face in her knees. 

She couldn't breath. Her heart constructed and seized inside. 

its ok.

He wasn't here.

She repeated these words, continuously, over and over, but her mind refused to believe it. She felt like she was drowning, waves of fear shuddered through her body, she was shaking. 

She felt like she was dying. Slowly suffocating under her pain. Every little breath she tried to take stabbed her lungs over and over. She tried and tried-

Aria gave up. 

She let everything flood into her head. Stopped trying to forget. Everything little thing she'd managed to fold away and pack into the back of her mind, opened up. Like a waterfall, drowning her in her memories, and there was nothing she could do to stop them. 

...

He was coming closer, every step he took she shivered, she knew what was about to happen. She knew but she still didn't run, she couldn't run. Her feet were stuck in one place. 

He moved closer. 

"I-i'm sorry!" she begged 

she didn't mean to miss the target, she was just tired so her hand slipped a little, that's all, but he would never see it like that, he wouldn't care. Mistakes were a luxury that she simply couldn't afford. She was in debt now, and he'd come to collect

"I fucking told you what would happen if you missed the target, didn't i?" He whispered in her ear. 

He loved watching her tremble, He loved watching the fear in her eyes take place, but most of all he loved how she thought that if she begged him it would work. 

"DIDNT I?" he shouted. 

She jumped, scared at the sudden loud noise of his voice, she was trembling, she tried to reply but her throat was clogged with fear. 

"Not going to reply?" he asked, his words getting more and more dangerous. "I thought i told you what happens when you ignore me." 

she tried desperately to speak, for a sound to come out of her. 

Nothing. She was paralyzed with fear. Fear had numbed her vocal chords, allowing her to do nothing but stand there. 

Please, she begged inside her head, hoping that someone would hear her. That if there was a god in this world then for him to save her. Please, please, please. she begged desperately.

She knew exactly what would happen next. She knew what would happen to her if she didn't reply to what he said. 

There was no god. There was no one saving her. 

So when the sharp sting of the whip connected with her back, she took it. 

Again, and again. 

Aria couldn't breath, the pain hurt so much that all she could do was hope for her back to numb out from the repeated violent hits that were inflicted upon her. 

Her back never did numb out. 

Instead she found herself on the floor. She felt every blow strike her back until it bled out. Again and again. He was saying words that she couldn't understand, she was far too drunk on the pain being beaten into her. He was screaming at her, shouting, and bought the whip down harder and harder. There was no escape. 

he didn't even give her a chance to breath, and for that she was thankful. If he gave her a chance to breath she would then have to register the pain exploding through her, and then brace herself for the next impact, at least she never had to feel the whole vibration of pain.

She didn't know how long it had been until she managed to close her eyes. She didn't even notice that her back was bleeding out. She didn't even care. 

Darkness pulled her in and she frantically held its hand and let it take her in its cold yet warm embrace. Darkness was her only comfort, it took her in when she had nowhere to go. Even though it would eventually push her back into the world, it still let her stay for a short while.

... 

hey! ok so this chapter was a little heavy. But I hope yall understand Aria's backstory a little bit more now. 

I'm also sorry this is so short. I have exams lmao, I'll defo try and write more hehe.

uhm, random question but who is your fav character so far? I'm actually so interested, I really wanna know.