Jokers

15

Leo's pov:

The wind was a cold whisper, gently streaming past my hair and softly playing with it. The view was just the same as i'd remembered it.

The 4th floor of the mansion had a secret balcony, that could be accessed by the 2nd floor, left wing window. The balcony was old, only 2 people knew of its existence, me and my older brother Kyro. The mansion really was like a castle, it had many secret doors that no one knew of. So many secrets lingered in this castle that were better unsaid. 

The night sky was a canvas of stars glittering in the sky, each being its own drop of euphoria. It made me happy, seeing them shining so brightly. I remember reading once that when we die, a star comes alive, that we turn into stars. That for each of our lives a star is born. Of course, it wasn't true, but it was a nice thought. That even after we leave, there is still a small symbol of us left. I wonder if my mother was in this sky, or if she were in another sky far away from this one. 

I still remember how she laughed when I had told her that when we die we'd turn into stars, and what shed said to me. 

"Then, my dear, when I leave, look into the sky and you'll see me." 

I did. Every single day. I looked into the stars, everyday. I've never seen her in them, not once. 

My mother fell in love with the wrong person. Hell. She fell in love with nothing. Everything she thought my father was, was a lie. He led her on, she followed. She would follow anywhere he would go, she was hopelessly in love with him. My mother was a beautiful woman, her name was Vanessa, it meant butterfly. 

 She was kind, smart, and everything you could have asked for, but before all that she was incredibly fragile, she was glass. He found every single way to shatter her. Hurt her. Smash her to pieces. 

He trapped her, she was nothing more then a beautiful butterfly, trapped in a jar. He tore her wings off, and trampled all over her. Leaving nothing but a destroyed heart in an empty body. 

My father was a monster. He looked for anything precious, and tore it down. Destroyed it. He reveled in the idea of slowly breaking a person apart. He often had affairs. He wasn't even secretive about it either. I can still remember the heartbroken look on my mothers beautiful face as he danced with other women in front of her, completely ignoring her, desperately looking at him, sitting on the side. He never loved her. 

Paris, Venus and Cardan were born out of these affairs. 

My mother had 3 children with him. Kyro, my oldest brother. Mirae, my older sister and me. Paris and Venus's mother was a woman who no one ever knew of.. The only woman my sadistic father ever loved. She gave birth to the twins whilst my mother was 3 months pregnant with me. 

No one knew anything about her, only that when she died during the birth of the twins, my father tried to kill them. He loved her so much that the two children she had just given birth to meant nothing to him, only the dead woman held enough significance to him that he convinced himself that these children had killed his lover.

 My mother stopped him. 

She stopped him trying to kill his own children. She then took those children who were born out of the affair of HER husband and another woman who he cared more about, and raised them as her own. 

Cardan's mother was My mothers best friend. Sierra, was her name. 

My mother had been best friends with her since forever. I still remember her a little. My father had killed her when I was 5 years old, and Cardan was 1, so he never really knew her. 

My mother took him in as well. Raised him as her own. 

Apparently Sierra had fallen in love with him ever since my mother had married him. He tricked her. He knew what would hurt my mother the most, the betrayal of her best friend would shatter her soul, and it did. 

My mother got sick when I was 9 yeas old and died 4 years after when I turned 12. 

There was something wrong with her, it was unidentified. Whatever it was, it took the life out of her slowly, and it was excruciating pain. She wouldn't be able to move for hours at a time as the pain was unbearable. 

Sometimes she'd pass out as the pain would take over and beat her down senseless. She had suffered for 4 years before she couldn't fight any longer, and perhaps it was better for her, so that she was no longer in pain. 

I remember how she looked when she'd died, her face looked so peaceful, so serene, so calm, there was no sign of her previous pain. Her eyes were shut and even a small smile had formed on her face. Like she was glad that there was no more pain, like she was finally free. Free to fly once more. 

I hated her for it. I hated how she'd managed to escape, and left us all behind. 

I took a deep breath in, these emotions were far to strong for me and I wished they'd go. These were the worst battles I had to fight, between what I knew and what I felt. I knew she was struggling, i knew she was in pain greater then anything i could imagine, but i still felt hate when i'd think of her leaving us as if it were so easy. 

These thoughts were destroying me, I tried not to think but the silence was a killer too. 

Leaning back against the balcony and looking at the sky. I realised that I never knew when this house no longer felt like home, and perhaps that was the scariest thing I had to come to terms with.