Jokers

53

Paris's POV:

The whiskey burned as I downed it. 

I promised Cali that I would stop drinking things that could make me loose control of myself again. 

Yet when she saw me after the meeting with the whiskey bottle in hand and ashamed expression that was plastered on my face she gave me a small understanding smile and walked of. 

She knew more then anyone that this whiskey bottle was the only thing that was going to hold me together, to stop me from beating the shit out of anyone that breathed a little too loud.

"That's enough." A soft voice from behind me came 

Speak of the angel herself. 

I didn't turn around, I was still ashamed that I had so easily broken my promise to her. 

I heard the room to our door close as her light footsteps came closer to me. She didn't bother switching the lights on, the large window in out room bought enough of the moons light inside. 

Her arms gently wrapped around my waist and I could feel her calm breathing against my back. 

"I'm sorry." I finally said. 

"For what?" She asked 

"For drinking, for breaking the promise, for everything." My voice caught. 

Her arms around me loosened and I felt her step back. 

"Turn around. Look at me." She tugged my arm

I did as she said. Like always, I was a slave to this woman and she had no idea. 

"Hey, that does include eye contact Paris." She said reaching up to me and moving my chin towards her. 

I locked eyes with her brown ones and just like every single time I was mesmerised.

"What you did today was hard Paris, not even hard, god it must have been so, so difficult, I don't blame you for what you did and the fact that you apologised to me when you didn't need to is enough to tell me just how much it's taken a toll on you. You are only human Paris." She said her hand on my cheek. 

I held her hand as she continued to caress my cheek, her hands were so soft. 

She was the only person to ever tell me that I was a human. 

"I shouldn't have told them Cali, I shouldn't have. Now wasn't the right time, there never fucking is a right time. Last time I couldn't tell them because Cardan had just recently become King of Hearts and they were all just so damn happy. I shouldn't have told them. Everything's ruined now, all because of me."  I rambled, clutching her hand harder. 

"Paris, they deserve to know. They deserve to know how their mother went away." She reminded me

"But what if I've made it worse? What if they didn't want to know? Everything was better of when it was only me that knew." I pulled her closer to me, until her fiery hair was rubbing my cheek. 

"Was it though Paris?" She asked me quietly as her arms wrapped around my waist again. 

I didn't answer. She already knew the answer to that question, so did I. 

No. Nothing was better off when it was only me that knew. The anguish that I alone had to go through of realising just how much of a monster that man who I was related to was. 

It shouldn't have affected me that much, out of all of my siblings, I was the one who didn't feel much emotions yet the betrayal of the whole thing fucking hurt.