A journey through life, healing, grief, heart aches and loss.
This is a book that allows you to look back at life and realize that there's so much more than what meets the eye.
Here lies the words you never had the chance to speak.
This is Untold.
I am weird. I really am weird. And if being weird makes me happy, then I hope to be weird forever. I wish to be this weird girl who is looking for magic in every place she goes, every person she meets and everything she sees. I am weird. I know right. I love deep stuffs. I love conversations about life, death and everything in between.
Show me the person that you are. unmask your mask. Sing off key. laugh out loud. draw poorly. I don't look for perfection. I seek imperfection. I love flawed and broken things, as much as broken people. I love fixing broken stuffs. I used to be so broken that I carried within me the pain i have been dealing with for the past years.
I carried within me the guilt, remorse, nostalgia and melancholy. I hid my tears. I showed people my smile. I thought it would seem to make me feel okay, but I know it didn't make me okay because I wasn't fully okay. I wasn't okay with the treatment I got from people. I wasn't okay with how unworthy they made me feel. I was not okay with how things were, especially that I felt so damaged inside and couldn't let anyone enter my life because I had a hard time letting people enter my life.
I was having a hard time figuring out what I want, who I am and what I want to become. I know this is too messy. I know my head is sometimes chaotic. But underneath its chaos, there's magic. There's stars and diamonds and roses filled with thorns. There's sunshine inside, but the rain doesn't stop.
It didn't. I know that the rain should stop because the sun is already shining. But I know, that the rain will Go away when i am ready to let the sun shine in my life again. I was drowning for years and nobody knew about how deep the water and how suffocated I was because of the things going around me.
There was no one who would dare to hold my hand and tell me that everything will be okay. I was fine without having anyone to talk to before. I was fine with being alone. But deep down, I was yearning for people to go to me and approach me. I was yearning for the love I never had. I yearned for it all. I know I am so broken that i still am yearning for love.
I know i cried so many times because of love, friendship and fears.. but I know that someday, this pain will end. This kind of misery I am dealing with, it will go away soon. For now, I am accepting the pain. I am accepting the heavy sound of the rain falling outside my door. Because I know that the sun wouldn't be able to shine if the rain wouldn't stop.
I know it will stop. The sun will shine again and I will shine as well.
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