Hardest to Lose (Villaraza Series #4)

49 | Realized

49 | Realized

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Hindi ko na natanong pa kung anong ibig niyang sabihin doon. I doubted that she would even tell me if I asked. Tila nga nagsisisi siya na nasabi niya pa iyon.

But as I had said, it didn’t matter anymore. Whether I was right or I was mistaken, it wouldn’t change the fact that I no longer felt anything for her.

She was my first love and she would always be.

“Naku, nasa kuwarto niya. Noong isang araw pa ‘yan nagmumukmok,” balita sa akin ni Tita Salome habang itinutupi niya ang mga nilabhan sa kanilang sala.

“Gano’n po ba? Bakit po kaya?”

“Ewan ko diyan sa batang ‘yan.” She looked at me. “Nag-away ba kayo?”

Kimi akong ngumiti. “Medyo po, e.”

“Ah, baka ‘yon. Pagdating sa’yo, napaka-sensitive no’n. Lahat dinidibdib.”

I pressed my lips and just nodded.

Oo nga, ano? Whatever I did or said, kahit gaano kaliit o kawalang-halaga sa akin, dinidibdib niya. Lahat, maganda man o hindi. He would always open his heart and seal them in.

That was how I mattered to him.

With his step-mother’s permission, I went upstairs and knocked on his door. Noong una ay wala akong naririnig sa loob na kung ano. But the second time, his steps were in haste. I could tell he was annoyed as hell. Ngali-ngali akong tumawa.

“Ano bang—“

Hindi niya naituloy ang sasabihin nang nabungaran ako.

I smiled sweetly. “Hi.”

We stared at each other for seconds before he decided he didn’t want to face me yet. Isinara niya ang pinto at napahiyaw ako sa sakit.

Fuck!

“Bakit ba kasi nandyan kamay mo?” angil niya at sinuri ang daliri kong naipit.

“Bobo ka ba? Ba’t ba kasi sinara mo, e nandito pa ‘ko!”

We bickered some more, not wanting to accept whose fault it was. Kalaunan ay napagod din kami at hinayaan niya na akong pumasok sa kuwarto niya.

Shit. Pakiramdam ko ay naputol ang daliri ko. Galit na galit iyong pagkakasara niya, e.

“Grabe, nakakapagod!” sabi ko pagkatapos kong lumundag sa kama niya.

I heard him snort and I could only grin.

Akala mo naman ay kaya talaga akong tiisin. Pustahan tayo, kapag sineryoso ko itong kalokohan niya, siya rin itong iiyak. My past girlfriends knew how I could be heartless when I had enough of their shits.

Pasalamat talaga siya na greatest asset ko ang pagkahaba-haba kong pasensya.

“Galit ka pa rin sakin?” malambing kong tanong habang nakaupo kami sa kama at sinusuri niya ang daliri kong nagiging kulay ube na.

Hindi siya umimik at mas naging seryoso sa ginagawa.

“I’m sorry for not telling you about Sherlyn. And . . . for lying so I could meet her with our friends,” I proceeded. “But please understand, sweetheart. May responsibilidad din ako bilang kaibigan niya. And I wasn’t cheating on you. That’s beyond me. Hinding-hindi ko gagawin ‘yan.”

“Sorry din.”

Napamulagat ako samantalang nanatili ang atensyon niya sa daliri ko. Akala ko ay magmamatigas pa rin siya. That was unexpected.