Hardest to Lose (Villaraza Series #4)

44 | Rival

44 | Rival

_______________

I wondered what he meant.

“Ayusin mo pagkarga mo diyan sa tray. Sisipain talaga kita ‘pag nahulog mo ‘yan, Iñara!”

He said he wouldn’t make it easy for me. So, basically, he wouldn’t let me go without putting up a fight.

“Dito mo, gaga ka! O, dahan-dahan!”

But what would he be fighting with, exactly?

“Aray!” I yelped and held my forehead. “Zen! Ang sakit no’n, a!”

“Kamuntikan mo nang matapon ‘yong tray! Ano ba kasing iniisip mo, ha? Kanina ka pa lutang. Idadamay mo pa mga pananim ko!”

Sinulyapan ko ang itinutukoy niya. Medyo umangat ang lupa sa tray. Pero okay pa rin naman.

Ang OA talaga ng babaeng ‘to.

Dahil wala naman akong pasok due to holiday, sinamahan ko ang gaga sa bagong apartment nila ng boyfriend niya. Recently, they decided to live together. At dahil malawak ang lupa, Zenith wanted to plant buk choy and I was helping her.

Bumuntong-hininga ako at kinuha ang mapurol na itak sa damuhan. “Zen, anong tingin mo?”

“Saan?”

“Sa sinabi ni Markus.”

Nagbungkal siya ng lupa at kinuha ang tatlong petsay na punla sa tray saka ibinaon. “Kung ako rin naman sa kanya, kapag nalaman kong babae pa rin talaga trip mo kahit magkarelasyon na kayong dalawa, hindi rin kita basta pakakawalan. It’s basic. Lalayas ka kasi babae pala gusto mo? When he’s there, giving you all of him? When he invested to you all his love and time? No way! We, humans, are naturally selfish. So I truly understand where he’s coming from.”

Ngumuso ako at nakibungkal na rin ng lupa.

I knew she would say it. But the idea remained a stranger to me.

Paano nga kung talagang mangyari iyon? What if this feeling I got for him was just a phase I would get over in months? Anong gagawin ko?

Anong mangyayari sa amin?

“Hindi pa naman kayo kaya may oras ka pang i-reject siya,” Zenith said like we were talking about what we would eat for snack.

“I’m in love with him.”

Mabagal niya akong nilingon. “He’s a guy, Iñara. And you’re a lesbian. It’s a risk for the both of you to fall in love. You could be in love with him today. But until when?”

“Whoever you are, we all risk in love. Ano bang ipinagkaiba noon sa sitwasyon namin?”

“Alam mo ang ibig kong sabihin.”

“Hindi.”

“Baklang ‘to . . .” She rolled her eyes dramatically. “You and him are different. Straight siya. And straight people are for straight people. Mahihirapan kayong dalawa. Lalo ka na. Lalabas at lalabas ang kabaklaan mo, sinasabi ko sa’yo.”

“Akala ko ba walang gender ang love? Hindi lang naman ‘yan applicable sa’min, a. Which means heteros may fall in love with us, too. At ‘tsaka kung makapagsalita kayo, parang rare ang sitwasyon naming dalawa!”

“Because I know you, my friend.” Her stare pierced my soul. “You’re too gay for a relationship with him.”

She really wouldn’t support this.

Dahil naiirita na rin ako sa mga pinagsasabi niya, hindi na ako nagsalita pa. Ayokong mag-away kami lalo na ngayong nagseseryoso na siya sa mga desisyon niya sa buhay.