My life in my hometown of North Dakota had always been a distant memory of mine. Something that didn't even feel that had really happened. That little girl was so foreign to me. Memories that I had long forgotten. I was determined to forget all about her and leave all traces behind as if she no longer existed. Until it all began to scratch to the surface desperate for me to remember who I once was.
Nathan Vanderbilt helped me see the beauty in my misery and the mistakes I've made. Because every instance brought me to Rose and eventually to him. The love of my life.
Now everything that I have done is not only for them but my inner child. Who thought that I would never be happy. For the woman I slowly grew up to be that thought I didn't deserve it for the things I've done. And I stubbornly fought everything and everyone along the way including myself.
Falling in love with him was the easy part; it was admitting it to him and to myself that was hard. Ever since I got that feeling inside me that he wasn't the disgusting and corrupt lawyer I was told to believe he was. For that odd, sickening feeling in the pit of my stomach was the beginning of it all. And a feeling that I would eventually grow to know and love. Authentic adoration, genuine happiness, and kindness that I was never given before him.
No matter how uptight and arrogant he was at first. Something inside me saw past his difficulties and instinctively knew he was honest. Something inside me that I will never be able to understand or put into words. And I will always be grateful that I trusted it without any basis of evidence.
I was devoted, playful, trusting. I guess I should have been ashamed of that somehow knowing how tough I was and the hard exterior I've put up my entire life. Yet I prefer to be strong; strong enough to risk being broken all over again, to love again, full knowing my own fragility when it came to Nathan Vanderbilt. I've known heartbreak enough to shatter my mind and left me unwilling to live.
I keep falling in love with him and each time was harder than the last. Every time the feeling gets deeper, more complex, more bewitching. There isn't a thing I wouldn't do to keep him and our children safe. Nathan Vanderbilt taught me how to love in ways I never thought was possible. Only in storybooks I was read to as a child by Nickolas. A separate type of love that Rose has given me since the day she was born.
The memory of that night we formally met at his family's estate would always be in my mind. I watched him move, there was something off putting about him combined with a gentleness that made my heart reach out. Not knowing how to start a conversation with the man I was sent to kill when I didn't even know who he was.
In that instant Nathan turned and caught my eye; before I could turn away a genuine grin spread across my face. Truly meeting his handsome and divine features for the very first time. In that moment I felt my body flush warm. This was a person I would grow to know more than anyone else before. And Nathan would have grown to know me better than anyone else in this world. This was a man I would end up loving forever.
I'm so happy to have met him, and I'm scared too; there is pain in such a joy. I've never wanted any form of eternity until now, I never saw the point. So, I stayed and fell even more in love with him. And I'm so happy to have been brave enough to stay and marry him. And for Rose to have the opportunity to know what it's like to have a loving father figure.
Rose is growing up. She's the best of me, better than I'll ever be. Rose deserves it all. She makes me believe I'm worth something. Seeing her innocence, her heart. Rose thinks I'm the strong one, but she has no idea how delicate it all is. Happily ever after. Nothing scares me like being happy. Happiness is the scariest feeling to have. Once you're happy you have so much more to lose.
Love is one of the most complex and powerful emotions that we all experience. Love can be passionate and exciting, or it can be calm and reassuring. It can be a source of great happiness, but it can also cause tremendous pain. But love can also make you feel sad and desperate, as if you're losing grip on reality. With him I felt it all.
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Trained For Sin
Romantik"Pain was something I was very familiar with and had grown to manipulate and wield as a weapon. But our love would prove to be far more deadly." . ✧ . Genevieve is a gorgeous young woman who is able to con men to do almost anything because of her b...
