It was early evening. I had just moved to London and i couldn't cope with my paranoia and anxiety. Everything was too much to handle, especially moving into a new home. It was a nice apartment though. I was living with my best friend Leah. We had been best friends for 7 years, and she was the most amazing friend i could ever ask for.
Today had been a bad day though. I missed my parents back home, and i knew that living without them was going to be hard. Leah and i had finished unpacking all of our things and she had an interview that day for an amazing graphics design apprenticeship that i knew she would love. I was on my own, feeling down and alone.
I stumbled to the bathroom, still wearing my Spongebob pyjama bottoms with a black vest and a grey hoodie. I looked at myself in the mirror. No make up, messy hair and looking awful. "Who would ever want someone like me?" I asked myself. I wasn't the girl that guys would fall for. I had a couple of tattoos, i wasn't at all skinny and i couldn't do my make up properly like all the other girls. I reached into the cupboard and found it.. My blade. I hadn't used it in a while, but i looked down at the scars on my arm and remembered how relieved it made me feel at the time. I rolled up my sleeve and ran the blade across my pale skin. It felt so relaxing, so i continued.
After a few cuts i dropped the blade and grabbed a towel to clean up my arm. I shook my head, disappointed in myself for letting this happen again and i went into my bedroom to get dressed. I needed to get out of the place. I threw on my black leggings with a checkered shirt and a jumper. I quickly straightened my hair, back combing it slightly and put on some foundation and eyeliner. That'll do. I put on my bright red converses and left the apartment.
I began to walk down the road with my earphones in. I was listening to 'Shadow Moses' by Bring me the horizon. I was obsessed with the song. I headed towards the park because i knew it would be quiet and i knew i could just sit and chill for a while.
As i walked through the gates i began to feel really dizzy. It might have been due to the cuts, or maybe the fact i hadn't eaten properly in a few days. I was desperate to lose weight and eating food just made me feel like a failure. I tried to keep walking but i stopped, feeling myself blacking out. Before i knew it i was on the floor, laying on my back, completely passed out. Then all of a sudden, i felt someone shake my shoulder..
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Meeting Dan (Danisnotonfire)
FanfictionWhen 18 year old Ivy moves to London with her best friend Leah,she never knew that it would be so hard! But after an eventful night, she ends up meeting someone very interesting, and they get to know each other very well! All is going well, but with...