Meeting Dan (Danisnotonfire)

Chapter 5 - The longest day

The alarm went off, and i finally managed to open my eyes and switch the alarm off.  6.30am. it should be illegal to be up this early. I stumbled out of bed and looked at myself in the mirror. I looked so dreadful this early in the morning.  I looked down at my arm and saw the cuts; i couldn't let Leah see them, or anyone at work, so i had to decide what to wear. i opened my wardrobe and pulled out my black work trousers, a black vest and a long sleeved navy and white blouse. I opened my door and crept along the hallway being careful not to wake Leah. 

I quickly went into the bathroom and turned on the shower. I left my pile of clothes on the side and had my shower. Once i got out i wrapped a towel around myself and looked in the mirror. I couldn't help but feeling disgust everytime i did this. I hated the way i looked. I opened the cupboard to get my toothbrush and toothpaste and there i saw it. My worst enemy, yet still my best friend. My blade. It was still wrapped up in the bloody towel which i had used to clean up my arm the last time i cut. Because this had been an addiction for the past 5 years, it was hard to steer away from cutting. Without thinking, i grabbed the blade and began to cut viciously at my arm. It was just after this that i heard a knocking at the bathroom door. 

"Ivy, are you still in there?". I quickly put the blade and towel in the cupboard and replied. "Yeah, i'll be out in a minute!" I quickly ripped off some toilet paper and wrapped it around my arm and hurried out of the bathroom and back into my room and locked the door. I threw my clothes on the bed and sat down at my dresser tending to the cuts on my arm. Once they had stopped bleeding i got dressed. I dried my hair and straightened it and then put on my make up. I thought i best make an effort for work so i put on my foundation and blush, followed by my eyeliner and mascara. I looked in the mirror and decided i looked half decent so i left my room and went into the kitchen.

Leah was making herself breakfast. "Do you want anything?" She asked, whilst dancing around the kitchen to the music that was playing on the television. "Umm, no, i best be leaving, don't want to be late for work". I still had 45 minutes until work, and it was only a 20 minute walk, but i decided it was best to leave Leah to it. I grabbed my coat and bag and quickly headed out the apartment. 

I put in my earphones, as usual and began listening to my music. As i strolled down the road, i walked past the park where me and Dan had met yesterday. I knew i had time to kill before work, so i entered the park and headed towards the bench where we had both sat. I perched on the edge of the bench, and i could just see Dan's apartment complex in the distance. He was constantly on my mind. I was thinking to myself: I wonder what he is doing now? I wonder if he is thinking about me? Probably not. I hope he remembers that we are meeting later on.  I wanted to text him just to confirm us meeting later, but i didn't want to appear clingy or desperate. I headed towards work and just kept thinking about meeting him again that night. 

He was on my mind all day. This was easily the longest day of work i have ever encountered. As it reached half past 5, i was standing at the changing rooms just looking at all the people walking in and out. There were so many beautiful, skinny girls entering the changing rooms. They would come out wearing these gorgeous outfits that looked perfect on them. Outfits i could only dream of wearing. It made me think. Why is Dan even interested in me? He is gorgeous! He could have the pick of any of these girls. I don't understand why he would even take a second look at me. 

As soon as the clock hit six, i quickly went to grab my things and get out of this place. All of the other sales assistants would meet outside after work and have a cigarette and a chat and maybe go for a coffee. I was never invited. I hadn't been there long anyway, but because i was so different to any of these girls they didn't consider me. 

I ran outside, and looked at the time on my phone. 6:09. I began to panic as i didn't see Dan outside. What if he has forgotten? Or maybe he never intended to come? My paranoia was kicking in bad. I stood there on my own when all of a sudden i felt someone behind me. I turned around and there he was. Standing there in his black skinny jeans, with his drop dead t-shirt and a jacket. "Hey you!" he shouted quickly wrapping his arms around me. "Hey! It's great to see you!" He smiled that perfect smile and took my hand. "Fancy a coffee? My treat?" I began to blush again, was this like an actual date? Or just two friends having coffee together? I had no idea. "That would be awesome" i replied. We strolled down the road, just talking about our days, and how Dan and Phil had spent the majority of theirs playing rock band. I couldn't help but laugh! 

We entered the nearest starbucks and i sat down at one of the tables. "What would you like?" He asked. "Umm, i'll have a caramel hot chocolate please". "Good choice." He winked at me and went to join the queue. It was so hot in there, i wanted to be able to take of my blouse, or at least roll up the sleeves, but i knew this wasn't an option. I had a vest underneath anyway, but i had cuts. Lots of them, and on my other arm i had a tattoo, and i wasn't sure what Dan thought of them. So i just sat there, and tried to look somewhat normal.

Dan came over and put the drinks on the table. We sat in Starbucks for well over an hour, chatting about the most random things! Food, animals, college, work, music, films, whatever came to mind. He was so easy to talk to. 

"So what's your favourite takeaway? Me and Phil were thinking about what to order in tonight." I was so socially awkward, i didn't want to say something he hated. I looked at him, trying to somehow work out what kinds of food he may like. He seemed to like everything, going by our conversations. "Umm, i really like pizza, and i also like Chinese food. So i'll leave it up to you really!" He smiled and said "awesome, i love pizza! We can get a deal from pizza hut or something". I smiled and we continued talking about things for what seemed like forever. 

As it got darker outside, we decided to head off back to his. Yet again, his hand found mine and we walked towards his apartment. Everything was perfect. 

Once we reached his apartment, we headed inside and Phil was playing Mariokart on the wii. "Hey Ivy, up for a game?" He shouted, not taking his eyes from the screen. "Yeah sure, as long as you're not afraid of losing!" Dan smiled, and went to make us all drinks whilst me and Phil sat on the sofa playing the game. We all played together, and it was so much fun! We were all so competitive. 

After about an hour, we all huddled around the laptop and decided what pizza's and sides we wanted. We decided on two large pizza's, one meat feast and one Hawaiian with garlic bread and potato wedges as sides. Whilst we waited for the pizza, Phil suggested we should all play rock band. It sounded like fun so i agreed. Dan was on drums, Phil played guitar and i had to sing. I had such a horrible singing voice so i was apprehensive about doing it. We all agreed on a song, 'Sugar we're going down' by Fall out boy. I kept seeing Dan look over to me as i was singing. I had no idea why, so i continued, determined not to lose to both of them. Once the song was over Dan looked at me in awe. "Wow, i never knew you could sing!". I just burst out laughing, i thought he was joking. "Are you mad? I'm a terrible singer!" I heard Phil gasp in the background. "You're crazy Ivy, you've got a good voice, seriously!"

Ah, saved by the bell! The doorbell rang and Phil hurried to the door like a small child. He collected the pizza's and brought all the food into the lounge. As we were eating, i recieved a text from Leah.

"I hope you're having a great time with the guys. I'm heading out tonight with a couple of friends, so i'll be back in the morning. See you then! x"

Oh no. I dreaded the thought of being alone in the apartment. My paranoia would make it impossible for me to sleep. I put down my pizza and began to feel really nervous. Dan must have noticed something was wrong because he leaned over to me and asked me if i was okay. I felt like an idiot telling him. He could see i was getting upset, so he asked Phil to go and get us more drinks so we could be alone. 

"Look Ivy, if there is anything bothering you, you can tell me. Honestly. I'm here for you, you know that yeah?" I smiled and tried my best not to cry. I had to be honest with him. I couldn't hide from this much longer. "It's just, i suffer with really bad paranoia and anxiety, and Leah just text me saying she is out all night and the thought of being alone really scares me, that's all. Sorry for acting so weird." Dan reached out his arms and pulled me in for a huge hug. He placed his head on top of mine before looking into my eyes, still holding onto my waist. "You know you're welcome to stay here yeah? I don't like the thought of you being alone and scared in that apartment by yourself at night." I looked at him, in a state of shock. Me, staying the night at Dan's apartment. This cannot be happening. "Umm, are you sure that's okay with you, i don't want to intrude or anything." "Don't be so silly! You're staying here okay? That way you'll feel safe, and that'll make me happier knowing that you're okay". He was being so nice to me! And i was actually going to stay the night at his apartment. I didn't know how this day could get any better..