The End is Just the Beginning (a Bad End Friends story)

Chapter 8

Once again, Wirt was awoken by an infernally loud singing.

"Disco girl coming through! That girl is you! Ohh, oh! Ohh, ohh!"

Wirt walked into the living room and pressed the off button. He looked at Bipper, who was also there, as he paced around, waiting for the others to arrive.

It had been a day since Bipper's mysterious twin sister showed up. Bipper had explained her cryptic disappearance due to devious gnomes and his new state of consciousness after she got settled.

Apparently, he wanted a team meeting about it.

Finn was the next one up. He walked in slowly, rubbing his eyes tiredly. His crown was perched crookedly on his head. Wirt almost reached out and fixed it.

"Good morning!" Bipper said cheerfully.

"Mmhm, shh," Finn moaned and curled up on the armchair. He seemingly fell back asleep.

Next, Mabel came in with a blue sweater with a yellow emoji thumbs up, a yellow skirt, and a lighter blue clip in her hair. She yawned and sat on the floor next to the coffee table.

"How do you still have that album? It should have burned," she said, poking the stereo above her head.

"I don't know but are we not lucky to have it! It's so effective!" Bipper exclaimed, then noticed Finn was asleep. He walked over jauntily and kicked him softly with his dress shoes that paired with his uniform priest suit.

Honestly, does that boy ever do laundry? Wirt thought.

Evidently, Bipper did not kick Finn that softly because he woke with a start and fell to the ground, dazed. He stood back up and sat back in the armchair with his arms crossed.

"What did you even wake us up for?" Wirt asked, crossing his arms as well.

"Well, I filled Mabel in with our plan, but she pointed out that we don't know how to get people here," Bipper said. "No one is going to just walk in and buy all the property."

"The government might," Finn said, his arms still crossed.

Bipper waved him off. "Government-shovernment. The Government would make this town the next Area 51 and put all of us in it."

"We could take people from surrounding towns," Mabel suggested.

"But then they would remember the kidnapping and try to escape. We need an illusion of safety and free will," Bipper said.

"And the question of morals," Wirt pointed out.

"We are literally taking over the world, and you are worried about morals?" Bipper asked.

Mabel rolled her eyes. "Boys," she muttered. "Guys! Focus!"
"Right," Bipper said, and they all went back to thinking.

After a while, Finn piped up. "We could take people from the other towns. Not kidnapping, but advertising and stuff."

"That's not a bad idea, Snow Cone," Bipper said.

"How do we advertise? We are not old enough to be taken seriously," Wirt noted.

"I have a few connections. Besides, you are sixteen. You can pass as eighteen, probably," Bipper said, looking Wirt over judgmentally.

"What about you, Bipper? You are, what, fourteen, fifteen? You couldn't pass as sixteen nonetheless eighteen," Wirt said.

Bipper just laughed. "Magic," he said, wiggling his eyebrows.

"So we have a plan?" Finn asked. "That seems so... simple."

"But it's a plan," Mabel said, and the other three nodded.

"Okay then, Mabel, can you start planning some sort of spectacle? Like a party or something?" Bipper asked Mabel, who grinned and nodded. "Finn, Wirt, we will go scam realtors in other towns, okay?"

"Okay," Finn responded, and Wirt nodded.

"Great," Bipper said, laughing maniacally.

___

Finn, Wirt, and Bipper went to two separate twins to persuade listing agencies to help them in their world conquering effort.

Bipper cast a spell on them to seem like normal kids without magical wooden antlers and metal prosthetics and strange raggedy clothes.

Finn and Wirt walked into a medium suburban town to "scam" the local listing agency. They walked into the office, which was exactly where Bipper said it would be, and saw a lady at the reception desk.

"Hello," the woman said with a false sweetness. Her name tag read, "Nancy."

"H-hello," Wirt answered with a voice crack. He cleared his throat.

Finn looked up at Wirt in confusion. He usually seemed cool and calm, but right then he seemed anxious to be talking to the lady.

"How can I help you boys," Nancy asked.

"Um, yeah. We have a few properties we would like to list," Wirt said, holding out a thick binder of all the saleable property in Gravity Falls minus the Attack Shack.

Nancy looked them over, lingering on Finn's young face and Wirt's stony glare. "Okay. I'll give this to my boss to check it out," she said finally. She took the binder from Wirt and almost dropped it. It was honestly impressive Wirt could hold it steady with one hand.

"Thank you and have a nice day," Nancy said.

Wirt nodded his thanks, and the two teens left the realtor's office.

"That was surprisingly easy," Finn said after they made their way outside. "Usually there is a catch or something."

"Yeah," Wirt agreed. "Odd."

They eventually got back to the Shack and saw Mabel lounging on the couch that was on the front porch, which Finn thought was weird, but he didn't say anything.

Mabel was writing in a shiny pink notebook when Finn and Wirt came up. She looked up when she heard them. "How did it go?" she asked cheerfully.

"It went well," Wirt said in his monotone voice.

"Love the enthusiasm," Mabel said sarcastically as she closed her notebook and stood up.

Before either of them could respond to Mabel's retort, there was a strange noise behind them.

Finn and Wirt turned to see a green tear in the air. Mabel stared at it with a vague look of surprise like it wasn't the strangest thing she had ever seen.

Then, from the rip, came a boy of about fifteen, who had a yellow tee-shirt, brown short cropped hair, and strangely, an eyepatch. Following him, four men that looked exactly alike came out as well.

The boy, obviously the leader, pointed at the three teens as the portal closed behind him. "You three," he said. "Are coming with me."

They all heard a laugh as all four identical men fell to the ground, unconscious. "No, you are coming with me," a voice said as the yellow-shirted teen crumpled to the ground. Behind the fallen was Bipper with a thick tree branch in his hand like a baseball bat.

"There was a much better way to do that," Wirt said after a second of the group just staring, but Bipper made a face.

"Come on, let's tie these guys up before they wake up and attack us or something," Bipper said, nudging the leader with his boot.

______

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Hahaha, ha, ha, ha-haha

It has begun

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