Unremembered Love (KaiStal f.f) [EDITING]

Ch. 8

My eyes slowly open, blinded by the bright days of the sun. Oddly, I have awoke standing up wearing a long, silky white dress with no patterns or accessories to contemplate it.

I look up, and the sky above me holds the color of baby blue. The big masses of clouds run away from me as if I'm a bad human being, and my hand reaches for them... but they continue to move away from me.

My hand pulls back as I realize that the clouds won't be coming back, feeling a sudden pain of sadness. Even in this world, or whatever I am in, everything or everyone seems to dislike me.  Even the clouds that have no mind or heart despise me as if God had wanted them to.

Heaving a sad sigh, I cock my head downwards to the meadow standing in front of me. In every square inch of it stood a beautiful peony with its body embracing the others next to it; its head blooming open to accept the sun's warm rays.

I walk barefoot towards the peonies and bend my knees into a small squatting position. The white dress melts into the ground as I bend forward and pluck a whole peony from the ground. The delicate creases in the petals reminds me of the scars left on my body, but I cannot seem to remember much of what had hurt me so much.

Lifting the peony, I hold my hair to the side and slide the flower into the crease on top of my right ear. Despite the itchiness that comes with it, I feel very pretty with it in my hair to go with the dress.

"You look gorgeous," a guy compliments. My eyes widen from the unknown voice, and I quickly spring myself up from the ground. I turn around to look at him.

Though he seems very familiar, my brain cannot work out who he is. His eyes beam happiness, almost as if he is some sort of serial killer.

"Who are you?" I ask, taking a step away from him. His smile sways a bit, maybe sad at my question, but it grows again when he looks into my eyes.

"Kim... Jongin," he replies, walking towards me. The name hits every corner of my brain like a pinball game, and it suddenly comes to me.

I smile.

"I'm sorry I didn't remember you," I apologize. Chuckling, he pulls me into an embrace.

"This is the last time—" he begins whispering into my ear, but he stops midway. I pull my body away from his and caress his cheek.

"Last time of what?" I ask, the air chilling around me. Goosebumps rise on my skin from the meaning of his words.

Jongin lets go of me completely and grabs my shoulders. His hands hold them like he's about to fall off a cliff, and his face contorts into an expression of worry and pain.

"Just don't lose the locket and you'll be fine, love."

I open my mouth to say something, but out of nowhere, the wind starts to pick up. The meadow of peonies begin to sway in all sorts of different directions, and some even fall off their stems. The beautiful peonies...

"Last time of what?!" I ask for the last time.

"Our memories."

I falter a bit, holding onto his arms for support. His words bring me to a complete stop, and they filter through my brain. One by one, the memories quickly flash before my eyes again, but they are carried away by the wind.

A scream escapes my tongue, and I grab his hand.

"Is... is this why I didn't remember you?"

"Yes, love."

Tears of irony roll down my cheek onto his hand. The saltiness of them stain his hand, drawing them dry of moisture. Though I do not wish to do any harm to him anymore, I cannot help but cry for him once more.

He pulls his hand up to my face and wipes the tears away from my eyes. His thumb slowly moves back and forth, and I look up at him. My lips tremble to say something before it's too late, but something in me tells me to shut up.

"As I said, don't lose the locket, and you'll be fine," he murmurs softly so I'm the only one who can hear it.

"Pardon?"

He ignores my question and asks something himself. "Do you trust me, Soojung?"

I nod, confused to why he's asking such a common-sense question.

"Then I can go now... in peace."

My eyes widen, and I stare at him with a puzzled face. Rain starts pouring down on us, soaking our clothes to the brim. My body freezes as he pulls of his black coat to wrap it around my bare shoulders, leaving his white, long-sleeved shirt stuck to his body.

"Jongin, what do you mean you're going to leave? We can stay together forever now, right?"

His mouth doesn't move.

"Jongin, reply to me!" I scream.

He cracks a smile on his lips, but his eyes show pain and regret. His lips move in a slow manner to whisper something very softly to me, but I cannot read them.

"No! You must not go," I yell through the rain, hugging him with all of my strength.

He pushes me away from him and holds my face. His eyes studies every millimeter of my face, and I shut up.

"I love you," he mutters, and I'm confused until he bends down to kiss me.

Lighting roars in our ears, and once again, the wind starts spinning faster. I pull Jongin by the back of his neck closer to me, but...

He just vanishes from my touch.

I open my eyes, bewildered at what just happened. The rain continues to batter my brain as I try to think of all the things that could have happened, but I cannot think of one.

"Jongin?" I croak, my body spinning in a circle to search for him. Instead, the meadow of peonies is gone, the light blue sky has morphed into a dark grey one, and the sun is tucked behind a cloud.

Only one cloud stayed with me while the rest ran away...

"It's just a memory. It was just a memory!" I cry, holding the locket that was around my neck. The truth hits me like a tsunami, and my knees fall to the ground. Mud splatters onto the dress, staining it up to the knee.

I pull my face into my hands, letting myself bawl my eyes out. The Jongin that I was holding just seconds ago was just a mere illusion made by my brain to remember him... to comfort me...

I suck in a breath in between a cry.

"It's just memories and feelings being taken away from you, Soojung," I tell myself, "but at least they didn't take your life."