It was a journal about friendship, courtship, falling in love, and some heartaches and heartbreaks. How can they survive their daily struggles and challenges in life? Will they survive or be forever on their dark side of life?
Yung makarating na ako sa New York ay hindi na naghintay yung mga doctors ko. Tiniest na nila ako kung okay na ba ang kalusugan ko para ma undergo ng yung operation ko sa brain. Ako lang ang mag isa na nandito sa hospital. Hindi ko sinabi kanila Daddy at Mommy na magpapaopera na ako sa brain turmor ko pero alam nila na may sakit ako. Natatakot pa rin ako sa kalusagan ko kasi hindi ko alam kung ano ang mangyayari sa akin. Maalala ko pa kay sila Daddy at Mommy, Si Aze na bestfriend ko, Si Chanyeol, the guy I used to love before at yung nag iisang tao mahal na mahal ko. Sana makilala ko pa sila pagkatapos ng operation ko. Pinauwi muna nila ako sa apartment ko sa New York. Habang nag isip ako para sa paparating na operation ko ay naisip ko na may pray kay God na sana bigyan niya yung mga doctors ko ng lakas para magawa nila yung dapat na gawin nila sa utak ko. Sana rin bigyan ako ni lord ng lakas para ituloy ang buhay ko at maalala ko yung mga tao na dapat ko maalala. Yung makatapos na ako magdasal ay gusto na makausap yung mga magulang ko pero wala akong lakas ng loob na kausapin sila. Alam nila ay mag aaral ako dito for my advance study for Architecture design pero hindi nila alam na magpapaopera na ako.
Habang hindi pa ako nagkakatulog ay gumawa ako ng isang video habang nakatingin sa labas ng bintana ko habang nagplplay yung kantang "Ride by Hybs"
It's closer to midnight
Still, we're talking just us two Surrounded by the stars Oh, they're shining just for you It's getting colder, baby Let me keep you warm all night Tell me what you wanna do 'Cause, baby, I'm all for youCome and ride with me tonightPlease don't you go I'll be alone Wait until the morning I'll hold you close Please don't you go I'll be alone Wait until the morning Ride until it's dawningThe way you look tonight, girl It's way too unbelievable I know I'm the lucky one Wonder what I've done to deserve youCome and ride with me tonightPlease don't you go I'll be alone Wait until the morning I'll hold you close Please don't you go I'll be alone Wait until the morning Ride until it's dawningPlease don't you go (please don't you go) I'll be alone (I'll be alone) Wait until the morning (wait until the morning) I'll hold you close (I will hold you close) Please don't you go (please don't you go) I'll be alone (I'll be alone) Wait until the morning (wait until the morning) Ride until it's dawning (until it's dawning) mhmIs the air good? You gotta just go for it Don't think about what comes after or what came before
Ito na yung gusto ko na gawin yung juinor high pa ako. Ang gumawa ang youtube channel pero ito na rin magiging way ko to tell my loved one that maybe leaving them forever. Yung nageedit ako ng video ay nagulat na lang ako na may nagtext sa akin pero hindi ko na tingan kasi ayoko muna makareceived ng kahit anong text, call o message galing sa loved one ko. Ayoko matakot sa buhay ko kasi handa na ako harapin ang destiny ko. Yung destiny ko kung mamatay ako o hindi ko na sila maalala habang buhay. Kaya pinatay ko muna yung phone ko kasi ayoko ko talaga makausap o makita yung mga sasabihin nila sa akin o kahit kamusta man nila. Kaya after ko matapos yung video ko ay inaupload ko na sa youtube channel ko.Sana may makakita sa ginawa ko. Hindi siya ganun kapulido pero maayos naman siya. Kaya kailangan ko mag aral ng video making. Siguro after ng operation ko mag eenroll ako sa short class. Kaya gumawa na rin ako ng List to do after my operation. Sana hindi ko ito makalimutan kasi ito na yung start ng magiging buhay ko.
LIST TO DO AFTER MY OPERATION
1. Make videos for my youtube channel.
2. Enroll in a video making class
3. Enjoy every single day of my second life
4. Try to remember everything that is going to come into my life
5. Try to meet new people and go on a date with a wonderful guy that is available to me
6. Go on dates with me and myself
7. Listen to very relaxing music and try to explore different kinds of music
8. Try to explore New York every day
9. Someday, I will try to marry the guy I love so much
10. Spend the days with the that special guy
Yung ginagawa ko ito ay napaisip ako kung si Brian ba talaga ang lalaki ang para sa akin. Hindi ko na rin alam pero siya lang ang minahal ko ng ganito. Ewan ko kung ano ba ito.hahaha. Magulo talaga ako mag isip kaya siguro kailangan ko na magpaopera.
Inaantok na ako kaya naisipan ko na matulog kasi baka bukas kailangan naman ako sa hospital. Buti na lang may kakilala na rin akong doctor dito sa New York kasi kung hindi papano ako magpapagamot. Dahil na rin siguro sa field ko kaya dumami na rin ang kilala ko. Yung isasara ko na yung laptop ko ay bigla na lang nagpop yung email sa akin ni Doctor Enriquez. Nakalagay sa email niya na ready to go na yung operation ko next month. So, I have time to spend days before my operation.
Oops! Ang larawang ito ay hindi sumusunod sa aming mga alituntunin sa nilalaman. Upang magpatuloy sa pag-publish, subukan itong alisin o mag-upload ng bago.
Actually, He is Juan Carlos Enriquez, he is the type of guy that you can date and be friends with. Girls in the hospital are all head over heels in love with this asshole. ahhaha. Please don't tell him. He is half-Filipino half-American and he is a real asshole. But he is a very good person and friend to me. He has already confessed his feeling for me but I reject him because I love someone else. But if I don't love Brian, I will consider dating him. hahaha. Maybe someday! He is a neurosurgeon and his specialty was opening the heads of his patients.
I answer his email but said yes and I am happy that I will see him again because he is traveling the world. He had already asked me to join him but I reject it because I really want to spend a day with Brian before Juan operate on my crazy head. I send my reply to Juan's email and close my laptop and stare at the silent night of New York skies while smiling. Maybe tomorrow will be a new start in my life. Hope tomorrow will a lot of happy and beautiful views that I will see and I hope I will not forget. Lord, please always guide me in my decision in life. Thank you for this night. Lord, I miss my family, friends, old flare, and my guy who is waiting for me. I hope he is not sad that I left him. I'm just doing this for my health and for me to survive and live again. I really hope he understands my decision.
LOL
NOTE: Sorry kung konti lang wala na akong magawa ngayon eh. Thank you so much....Pero totoo malapit na ito matapos wait na lang kayo.
