I Told the Stars about You

Chapter 16: Display my flaws like art

A/N: I just wanted to say thank you so much for everyone reading this! I really appreciate other people reading my work. How are you doing? Like really. How have you been feeling lately? Feel free to write it in the comments or send me a message. I'm happy to talk to anyone or simply listen xxx

I'm not in my body anymore. Not really. I'm laughing but it doesn't resonate in my chest. I'm crying but it doesn't wash away the weight that is pulling me down. I understand Cassie. And that should worry me, but instead, it offers me peace.

At school, I rush to my usual chair next to Rose, spotting the hazel-eyed girl behind me. It seems comical. That the two people who are the source of all my doubts are together in a classroom doing Spanish like any other normal student.

"Hola chicos y chicas! Hoy vamos a mirar el preterito pluscuamperfecto" Our teacher begins writing on the board, verb after verb that follows a series of groans from the class.

"We have out finals coming up in two months and you've been working all your academic career for these tests. I sincerely hope you'd stop complaining-" She shoots a knowing look to Aiden "- and start studying or at least, paying attention in class"

I pull out by books from my bag, dropping a couple of pens on the floor in the process. I meet the hazel-girl's eyes and she quickly leans down to help me pick them up, at the same time as Rose does. Their eyes don't meet. Their hands don't even meet.

"Don't worry, Rose, she's already helping me out" I glance at the girl and give her a smile. When my gaze turns to Rose, she's looking at me like I'm not the same person anymore. My smile turns to a frown. My pens are still on the floor.

"Ash" Rose speaks carefully, as if any wrong move would make me run "Do you- well- who is helping you Ash?"

Confused, I subtly lean my head in the hazel-eyed girl's direction. And Rose just freezes. She stares at the girl, unblinking, her hands shaking. Then, as if she gains composure, she raises her hand, to which the teacher answers.

"Hay algo que no entiendas, Rose?"

"No, I understand everything, I just remembered Asher and I had to meet the headmaster about a behavioural issue with some students the year below. As representatives on the school board of student related dilemmas, we must attend"

Miss Chastry nods and gestures the door in silent permission.

Before I know it, I've followed Rose in silence to her house and she's boiling the kettle to make us tea.

"Why are we here, Rose?"

She looks up from where she's sitting on the kitchen table and attempts a weak smile.

"I've realised something. And I think you have too. But you're too scared to admit it" I swallow audibly at her words, at the calmness that's taken over her features.

"I'm going to need more than that" Chuckling, I get up and pour the water into the mugs, letting the tea brew. "I mean, the fact that we're having tea instead of coffee is enough to tell me something is going on"

"Asher, trying to make this funny and avoiding what's happening in your head won't help anyone. But specially, it won't help you"

That sobers me up.

"Okay"

She sighs, running her fingers through the ends of her wavy hair. "Who showed up in front of my house when we were- well- when we were talking?"

I hate the way she says we were talking. I hate how she doesn't mention how close we were to kissing. I hate how she shrugs it off like it was just another moment, not something I've replayed in my mind a thousand times. But mostly, I hate what she's trying to prove to me, and how I won't ever want to face it.