I Told the Stars about You

Chapter 14 - I see nobody else

It was the weather. The cold must be getting to my head. Making me think I say the hazel-eyed girl when I didn't. Making me think she dropped her ribbon. The cold, the lack of social connection. A bit of everything and I've imagines a stroll with her. To give us closure, the doctors said it was the weather. I like that answer. Because the weather is constantly changing here, with strong winds sweeping between the mountains bringing down the cold rain from above, and sunlight the next day, making the green of the forest trees seem warm and comforting.

I think about the weather when I knock on Rose's door. The wood is old, engraved with small shapes, giving it an old feel. The house itself feels like a combination of wood and glass, with tall floor to ceiling windows looking out onto the forest on either side. Rose lives on the edge of town, where roads branch out into cul de sacs, where the final houses find themselves surrounded by the sequoias, old redwood trees that have enough diameter to take at least 5 grown men with stretched arms to reach around it. I hear the voices of who must be her mother, calling Rose to see who's at the door. Smoke comes out of the chimney, warming the large house on a cold spring day.

Suddenly, the door opens. Rose is standing there, with her hair up in a knotted bun, two locks of wavy auburn hair framing the soft outline of her face. She's wearing what appears to be a zipped up dark green jacket with black leggings. I can't help but think of how peaceful she looks. How she gives off an air of calm, and showers the world with a light she gives out through her smile.

Smile. She gives me one as she walks me upstairs without a word, into her en-suite bedroom with plush pillows, soft blankets, photos of her growing up and of her at school. I notice Ryan isn't in a single one.

"So" She throws herself onto the bed and grabs a pillow to hold between her arms.

"I can put on a timer if you want" I offer.

"I already did. There's only 7 minutes left." She gestures to the phone on her bedside table "Then you're leaving-" A look "Without complaints or arguments or anything. If I want to find you, I can go to the diner and you're sure to be there at some point"

She doesn't know I only go to the diner to see her.

"Of course. No arguments" Carefully, as if not to spook her, I take a seat down on the bed.

"Your house is really pretty. Architecturally, I mean. The structure it has. All the high ceilings held together by a careful balance of weight distribution" I look around her bedroom, noticing the fake vines she has crawling up her walls, twinkling with fairy lights, lighting up what look like oil paintings of landscapes.

"Is this what you called me for?" My eyebrows arch up in confusion
"This? The architecture of my house?" She huffs out an irritated breath "What do you want me so say, Asher?" She looks at me now, her brown eyes burning with anger "That there is a careful balance of  weight in this house because, trust me, I know!" She lets go of the pillow, standing up, her back facing me "I know I shouldn't have taken that money. I know I shouldn't have agreed to date him. To let go of the case and-"

She must see I don't understand, because, when she turns around, her gaze softens.

"Just leave, Ash"

"Wha-" I stand up to take her hand, to hold her, somehow, because I can tell, I should be reading through the lines, I should be noticing what's going on, what she's been trying to tell me. And if I had more time, I'd sit and rewind the tape in my mind and analyse each word. But I can't, because I can't leave her. I can't and I wish I understood why. I wish I could explain why, in the matter of seconds, I take her face in my hands and make her look at me.

"No, Rose" I breathe "Please. It wasn't about the architecture. Not at all. I just-" My throat closes up. I feel the air in my lungs shrink. What am I supposed to say? I imagined the girl from my class coming to your house?