I.C.U

Chapter 62

I was immersed in that day we all had to live sometime, when we go around the room to find something we had never looked for before. First I looked at photographs from my childhood and imagined that smiling child in a hammock in a park was looking at photographs of a teenager looking at a photograph sitting on the floor of his room. I put myself in front of a sheet of paper and wrote a poem about a body that dreamed of being a soul. I read it and I didn't like it. I made it into a ball and set it on fire. I collected the ashes and with them I painted the walls of my room. I sat on the couch and turned on the TV. They were showing a John Ford movie: "The Searchers". John Wayne returned from the Civil War to find his family massacred and his ranch destroyed by Indians. Then he went with his nephew to look for his niece who had been kidnapped by the Indians. Then I fell asleep. I woke up in a house that was not mine.A little curly-haired girl who said she was my niece congratulated me on my birthday and gave me a daisy. I fell asleep again.On TV there was a Portuguese man with a hat on his head talking about the apocalypse. According to him we had to pay for our sins. Angels were going to come down from heaven, set the city on fire and devour our guts eternally, just as they had once done to Prometheus. I went back to sleep. I was in a forest.Alone. I screamed but only my echo could be heard. I was thirsty. I walked until I found a stream and knelt down to drink water. I saw my reflection in the water. I always thought I was the one looking at my reflection on the water, but it was the reflection looking at me. It asked me: doesn't it bother you that things grow back? I woke up. I was in the middle of a desert with my hands tied to a cactus. John Wayne was standing in the distance talking to some people. I was trying to get loose but the thorns were tearing at my veins. John Wayne approached me with his Colt in his hand, rested the barrel on my forehead and shot me. He told me he was going to put me back where I belonged. I watched with my eyes as the bullet penetrated my forehead, shattered the front of my skull, pierced and shattered my brain and left a hole in the back of my neck. John Wayne stood behind me, looked through the hole and waved. After many years John Wayne found his niece, hugged her and took her to his family. Then appeared the color bars White, Yellow, Light Blue, Green, Violet, Red,Blue and Black. A cat came into my room, put on his man costume and told me that breakfast was ready.