One of the Good Ones ✓

Phone Calls and Disney Movie Marathons

There was a bang on the door and I jump. I cower into a corner, terrified that they had found where I lived. Another bang echoed through the house and I cautiously got up and approached the door. I watched as keys jingled in the lock and the door creaked open, the alarm going off and my fist making contact with the side of the intruder's head.

"Shit!" He yelled. Oh my god, it was Chris!

"Chris?! What the hell?!" I yell, flipping on the lights and running over to the alarm system, deactivating it and plunging the room into eerie silence. "What're you doing here?"

"I came to check on you. I saw a missed call and got worried. And then when your boss said you called out I got even more concerned." He explains while holding his jaw.

"Fuck. Didn't your mom ever teach you to not break into girls' houses?"

"Funnily enough, no. That was not something she thought she'd need to cover."

"I'm sorry. Let me get you some ice."

"Where'd you learn to punch like that? Fuck that was a good one. Solid too."

"I took some self defense classes when I first moved here." I say, not elaborating further.

"Why? Not that I'm saying it's a bad thing to know, cause it's not but what made you decide that now was a good time?"

Before I could answer him though, my home phone goes off. I immediately decline the call and the answering machine plays it out loud. "Lexi, come on. I know you're home. Why won't you answer? Your mother and I just want to talk. I think we deserve that don't you? After all, she's your mom... Come on, pick up the phone." He goes silent and the line clicks, signaling the end of the message.

I let out a shaky breath and slowly sink to the floor. I can't see anything as the tears start falling again. I start to hyperventilate, breaths becoming harder and harder to take. "Lexi." I can hear Chris's voice but it's like he's speaking to me and I'm underwater, it's all garbled.

I try to calm down but I can't. I can't get my breathing under control, can't seem to find something real to tether myself to. I feel him grab my hand, squeezing three times. I try to focus on the pressure of his hand grasping mine and use that to pull me back to reality.

Slowly, I stop crying. My vision clears up and I can see Chris sitting in front of me, on the floor of my kitchen. "Oh god." I say, burying my head in my hands. No one, least of all Captain America, was ever supposed to see me like this.

"Hey, don't do that. Don't hide from me. You've got nothing to be ashamed of."

"I've got everything to be ashamed of. I'm a 26 year old woman who just fell apart all over someone who's practically a stranger, all because her past is coming back to bite her in the ass." I'm over being scared for the moment and have moved onto anger. Anger at him for still having the power over me to paralyze me with fear. Anger over her for not being stronger, a better mom, for not leaving when she saw how he was treating me. I hear him move away and the front door open again. At least I didn't form an attachment to this one, I can't help but think bitterly.

But then the front door opens again, and along with his footsteps, I hear the sound of nails on my hardwood floor and soon enough, my face is being covered in wet dog kisses. "Hi Dodger." I say softly, rubbing him before burying my face in his fur.

"Maybe we need to get you a dog. You shouldn't be here all alone." He says, coming to sit down beside me, Dodger nudging his way in between us before laying down with his head in my lap.

"Or I can just steal yours." I joke a little. "It seems he likes me more right now anyway."

"Sorry, no can do." He smiles at me. "Do you want to talk about who that was on the phone?"

"Probably should, but not right now. I need to get passed this moment otherwise it's just going to suck me back in, the void."

"I know the feeling." When I look at him concerned he explains. "Obviously not for the same reasons, whatever they may be. But the anxiety so bad that it cripples you, causing you to never want to leave your safe space? I deal with that more often than I'd like."

"How do you do it? Go out anyway, even though it's practically suffocating you?"

"I mean, apart from the fact that my job depends on it?" He asks with a smile. "Sometimes the only thing you can do, is to face whatever's scaring you head on."

"I don't think I'm strong enough to do that." I whisper, my eyes watering up again.

"You don't need to be. I'm here for you."

"Chris... We just met. I can't ask you to help put me back together again. It's not fair to you."

"No, whatever that man did to you isn't fair. No one should have to go through life like this, afraid to move, afraid to live." He helps me up. "Now, do you want to order a pizza? I think the storm is over."

"For now." I say with a sad smile. "What's your favorite Disney movie?" I ask, heading to my stack of Blu-rays.

"Oh boy, you're in for it now." He says, joining me on the floor to pick out a movie.

"Pizza and a Disney movie marathon?"

"You're on." Tonight, tonight would be good.