Your love.

4

Crystal pov

Last night was so amazing. It felt completely different than our previous times. But knew I ruined the moment when I said that I was falling in love with her. I could feel her body stiffened and panic. But I didn't want her to think about it. I mean it was true, I was falling for her and hard. We've spent the last three years together. How could I not? Not to mention we are intimately involved as well. But I know it's different for her. I know it would take time, and I wasn't rushing her. And I'm not rushing myself either. I woke up a little before her and wanted to make her breakfast. I was almost done when she walked downstairs

"Good morning." She said sitting at the island.

"Morning." I smiled at her. I could feel her stares as I was fixing our plates. I sat her plate and drink in front of her and joined beside her. She didn't say much and I was worried I had messed things up between us.

Rae pov

Not gone lie last night was amazing and not just the sex. Our conversation and us enjoying time together was very much needed. But I was definitely threw off when she said she was falling in love with me. I really don't know what to say. She's is a great girl and I really like her. I do, but I can't fully give myself to someone again. And it sorta had me uncomfortable.

"Want to talk about it? She asked breaking me from my thoughts

"I...It just caught me off guard."

"I know, and I really didn't expect for me to say it either. We don't have to make this weird. We can just forget I said it.?" She said

"I agree. But I don't want to dismiss your feelings. I'm just not there yet. I really like you but, I just don't know if I can get there yet, or....honestly ever." I said. Maybe It was me, maybe I haven't completely healed yet. I just don't think I can ever fall in love again. Maybe I'm just so scared that I won't let myself.

"Let's just forget about it. Ok?" She looked hurt and I felt like shit about it.

"I'm sorry" I sighed she got up and put her plate in the microwave

"It's fine really, I'm just gonna go and shower. You can take me home later." She said and walked right out. I felt bad I knew I hurt her feelings but I didn't mean it that way. I can't help the way I feel. I didn't have an appetite either so I did the same and put mines up. I needed advice and needed to vent so I grabbed a blunt and my phone headed to my balcony and FaceTime lani. Hopefully she can help.

"Hey besstt, wassup with you?" She answer

"Not shit. Needing advice, I think I fucked up. You free to talk?" I said propping the phone up and lighting my blunt."

"Always. What's going on?"

"I already know you know so I'm just gonna say it. Me and Crys fuck with each other."

"Well duh, tell me something I don't know." She said causing me to chuckle

"Well, we've been keeping things between us because in honesty in the beginning we were just friends with benefits."

"Umhum, I knew y'all was fucking. Ain't no way in hell she coming to see you dang near every weekend just to talk. She coming for that plasDick" she busted out laughing and so did I

"Mannn let me finish!" I laughed

"I'm sorry carry on"

"Anywaysss so we've been doing this for months really almost a year. And last night we chilling and smoking and she tells me she wants more than us fucking. And basically she felt some type of way about our whole situation. She brought up Kodie and everything."

"Wait, what for?" She said looking confused

"She basically was saying she had always wanted more from me but she doesn't want to be in competition with what me and Kodie had."

"Uhhh that was so long ago. I don't know how I feel about that. Why is that even a topic?" She said defensively but I knew it was coming from a good place kodie is her family.

"I'm getting to that part. But I told her the same thing. I said I will always love kodie but I'm not in love with her. We both went through so much together, and we didn't really end on good or bad terms. So ofc I love her. And I don't know that fucks with me. I just don't want to be hurt again you know. I'm finally happy, I just can't." I said admitting my feelings. Something I never told anyone

"Did you tell her that?"

"Yes but no. I like her. A fucking lot. And I want her around. Im fine with us being together. But she said something that through me off last night. She basically said she was falling in love with me."

"Oh um ok." She says lost for words

"Exactly. That's how I felt. I like her I do. But right now, I can't see myself in love."

"Do you even want her then? Because what's the point. Don't be giving this girl false dreams of love and happiness with you if you know that's not what you want. Don't hurt her in the process of you finding yourself and learning to love again." She said making me think about it differently.

"And..... I really think you and kodie need to have that conversation. Both of you need to get closure." She continued. And instantly my stomach turned at the thought of seeing her again after all this time.

"I-I don't want nor need that stress in my life right now. And I'm sure she doesn't either. Though it's been years those wounds are still fresh. And if she did she would have put in the effort to do so a long time ago. It's clear what she wants. And I'm happy, no need to go and shift things." I said feeling myself get upset just thinking about it

"If you say so....it's just a suggestion. We are family at the end of the day you guys will eventually run into each other. But nonetheless don't take your hurt out on Crystal. She's been good to you. She's good for you. So go fix it."

"Your right. I gotta fix this. I'll call you later best." I said quickly before hanging up. Thinking about everything Lani said I completely understood what Crys was feeling and I so badly hated myself for it. Because I did care. I cared about her and I wanted her. Real bad. Now I gots to make her forgive me. I gotta make this right. I walked in closing my balcony to hear the shower still running. I could see her curvy silhouette outline the glass shower door. I strip out of my clothes before joining behind her.