Where You Belong

29

The sun was barely coming up on the west coast, casting an uneasy glow across the damp and dreary landscape. Derek sighed heavily as he collapsed onto the bottom steps of the staircase by the OR board, exhaustion clinging to him with every weary intake of air he took. It was quiet still in the hospital, not quite late enough for a shift change, but time for the night staff to be beginning their final rounds on checking their patients and making their notes.

It was the time of day where he could sit in the middle of the hospital and have privacy.

He unenthusiastically pulled his phone off of his waistband and dialled the familiar number. It may be early on the west coast, but the sun would be up and cheerful across the country, well into its daily ritual through the sky.

His mother answered after only three rings.

"Hi, mom, it's me."

"Derek!" She exclaimed. "Is everything alright? It's early for you to be calling."

He nodded to himself, even though he knew she could not tell. "Yeah, I just...I'm sorry, mom..."

"Sorry about what, dear?" Her voice was full of concern for her only son.

"I don't think we're going to make it tomorrow." He and Meredith were supposed to board a plane at ten the next morning, but when he had talked with her fifteen minutes prior, she had told him Izzy hadn't ventured off the bathroom floor yet.

"How come? Is something wrong?"

He felt his chest tighten at her concern. Derek had been looking forward to going home; he had never expected to feel homesick, but right now, he wanted his family. And he wanted Meredith to meet, and integrate with, his family. He needed a sign that said he had found a new life that would last him forever. Things could change in an instant, and he couldn't lose his grasp on this wonderful new life he had made for himself. "One of Mer's best friends...and our roommate, her, uh...her fiancé passed away last night. And she doesn't have anyone else to be here with her..."

His mother inhaled sharply. "My goodness, I'm so sorry. Was he ill?"

Derek closed his eyes and rested his forehead against the cool steel of the railing next to him. "He had chronic heart problems." His mother was not a doctor, and wouldn't understand any more than that. "And he had a heart transplant yesterday morning. Everything was good. He was awake and recovering nicely..."

"So, what happened?"

"Life," Derek answered. "Life happened. Things just happen, that you can't control. One minute he was fine, with a new heart and a fiancée and a future, and the next..." He didn't finish; he didn't have to.

"And...your roommate? How is she?"

Derek sighed. After driving Meredith home, he had only seen Izzy once, as Meredith had attempted to comfort her in the bathroom. His girlfriend had knocked twice before silently turning the knob. The door had opened just far enough for Meredith to squeeze her tiny frame through. But it had been enough. The small sliver of light coming through the doorway lit up their broken roommate in an almost stagnant glow. The scene of the blonde laying across the floor, broken, still dressed in her prom dress, haunted him, playing behind his lids every time he closed his eyes. "Not good."

"And Meredith?"

He almost smiled at his mother's concern. "She's..." He could still picture the crushed expression on her face as she staggered back out of the bathroom, fresh tears falling from her cheerless eyes. She had fallen into his arms and cried for the better part of an hour. And he had held her and cried a few tears of his own, silently into her hair. Denny's death had hit too close to home for all of them. "Not good either."