Red Like Ruby (Mostly RubyxDyrroth)

Random Ruby

Ruby: *Rummaging through the ref: Found no food; Rummaging through the cupboard: still no food.*

Ruby: Martis where is the food? Why is there no food anywhere? Are we poor?

Martis: *straight face* Yes, because Ruby keeps eating all the food we have now we are very poor and can't afford any more food.

Ruby: Oww *disappointed look* Do I have to get a job now like you? It's boring and we don't get to play much.

Martis: Ruby is very lazy. You only know how to eat and sleep. How can you get a job when you're so lazy?

Ruby: Ohhhhwww... What are you gonna eat?

Martis: I'm gonna eat Ruby as emergency food. You're so fat that I could ration Ruby for one month.

Ruby: Nooooooo! Don't eat me! I'm too delicious to be eaten by an ugly Martis.

🌹

Ruby: Gummy bears! I am a gummy bear! I am a supa dupa dupa dupa gummy bear!

Martis: If you're a gummy bear then what am I?

Ruby: Martis is a dummy bear hahahahah! *giggles*

Martis: Oh, so let me show you how mean dummy bears are. *grabs Ruby and squeezes her in a tight hug before tickling her sides*

Ruby: Haha hahahah stop! Martis stop hahahahah

Martis: No a dummy bear doesn't take orders from a mean gummy bear! Attack the gummy bear!

Ruby: Hahahahah noooooo! No more dummy bear! Stop! Stop! Stop! Daddy bear!

Martis: *pause*... What?

Ruby: Stop Daddy bear?

Martis: Okay...

Ruby: Wahh, I discovered a new power.

🌹

Ruby: *singing a song she doesn't know the lyrics to*

Dyrroth: *appears out of nowhere*

Ruby: What the hell? How did you get here?

Dyrroth: All your lyrics were wrong and somehow you summoned me here. So... If you're not planning on doing anything I have a few ideas. How about let's do some shopping that involves your cute dress 100% off?

Ruby: …

Dyrroth: *flirtatiously wiggling eyebrows*

Ruby: *Throws him out of her window*

🌹

Dyrroth: *looking sad and depressed*

Ruby: *notices how melancholic he was, approached him and gave him a hug*

Dyrroth: *shocked, raised his eyesbrow, obviously confused as to what his human best friend was doing*

Dyrroth: What the hell is this? What are you doing? Is this the confetti death grip where you tighten your hold on your enemy until they burst into gore splatters? If it is, it's not very good.

Ruby: No silly, it's called a hug. To comfort you.

Dyrroth: Oh, why?

Ruby: Because you're sad.

Dyrroth: Don't be ridiculous. Demons don't get sad. I don't need your sympathy nor your comfort.

Ruby: Okay I'll stop. *was about to pull away*

Dyrroth: I didn't say that you should stop. Keep doing it. It's warm and... Nice.

Ruby: Aww, you like hugs.

Dyrroth: I don't. *begins to mumble* But... If they're from you...

Ruby: What was that?

Dyrroth: It was nothing.

🌹

Scene: How Boys treat their male best friends vs how they treat their female best friends

*Dyrroth asked Moskov to buy him some drink.*

Moskov: Here's your drink, prince. They don't have the thing you want so I only bought Pepsi.

Dyrroth: *turns to him furiously* Pepsi? Pepsi? Are you fucking retarded? I don't want that shit!

Moskov: B-but but that's the only thing they have! The next store is a mile away!

Dyrroth: I don't care! Go find me a fucking coke!

*VS how he treats his female best friend aka Ruby*

Ruby: Sorry Dyrroth. I got the wrong coffee, this one is quite sweet. And I think I spilled it a little when I tripped. I'm sorry I was such a clutz.

Dyrroth: *turns to her with a sweet smile* It's okay Ruby it's not your fault. The ground must have been the one with the problem and the bartenders were stupid. Great job, now you go rest.*pats her hair*

Ruby: Thank you!

Moskov: This is so fucking unfair.

🌹

Dyrroth: Ruby when you get married, can I attend your wedding as something important?

Ruby: Like the ring-bearer?

Dyrroth: No, like, as the groom.

Ruby: No.

🌹

Ruby: *Holding a book* What is... orgasm?

Dyrroth: I don't know. I think it's that thing when you fold paper to make birds and shit.

Ruby: Oh, that sounds fun! Let's do that.

Roger: Nooooooo!