broken // lashton

twenty - eight

"Luke," Ashton breathes when he opens the door to see the blonde boy standing there, his tall figure adorned in a baggy black sweater.
"Hi, Ashton." Luke replies, and it's obvious that he's been crying.
Ashton pulls Luke inside, leading the boy up to his bedroom.

"I'm sorry." Ashton says, his voice small.
"Are you?" Luke bites his lip, standing in the doorway. Ashton nods, pulling Luke into a hug.
"I'm so, so sorry."
Luke wraps his arms around Ashton, but looks down and sees a large cut on Ashton's bicep.
"What happened to your arm?"

"Uh, nothing?" Ashton replies. Luke raises his eyebrows, knowing that something happened.
"What happened?" Luke whispers, pulling the sleeve of Ashton's Green Day t-shirt up to reveal the cut.

Ashton sighs, looking down at his arm. "I had a little run-in with Bryana."
"She did this?" Luke's mouth falls open.
"Uh, no?"
"Ashton." Luke's voice is stern, and Ashton obliges and tells him the truth. "S-She called me a faggot and scratched me pretty badly." Ashton's voice is shaky, as if he's about to cry.
Luke doesn't know what to say.
He decides against saying anything, he just walks forwards and wraps his arms around Ashton.

Ashton rests his head on Luke's shoulder, letting tears spill from his eyes. "I-I love you," Ashton hiccups. Luke doesn't give Ashton a response.
It still feels forced coming from Ashton.
"Please say it back," Ashton whimpers.
"I...." Luke sighs. He feels like he finally has Ashton. Things are adding up in his life, but he's afraid that it'll be torn down again. "Ashton, I feel like you're going to hurt me again."

Ashton pulls himself out of Luke's embrace. "I can't hurt you again. If I did, I might as well hurt myself too."
Luke almost chokes when he hears Ashton say those words.

"Don't...don't say that, Ashton." Luke whispers. "You don't know what it's like."
Ashton looks at Luke quizzically. "What?"
"Hurting yourself," Luke clarifies.
Ashton looks down, muttering something that Luke can't hear.
"Actually," Ashton sighs, fumbling with the button his pants. Luke feels his cheeks flush as he can't keep his eyes off the other boy.
Ashton drops his jeans, and shows Luke the scars running around his thighs.

The biggest scar spelled out FAG. All the scars were words, ranging from FAG to FAKE to ASSHOLE. Luke feels tears watering in his eyes. "I...." He can't bring himself to finish the sentence. His eyes travel across the words, until he sees a semi-faded mark spelling out LUKE. "Does that say-"
"Your name? Yeah, it does. I first cut that after that day at the movies. I...I loved the sound of your name."
Suddenly, nothing else matters as Luke crashes his lips against Ashton's.

Both boys stumble backwards, until Luke has Ashton against a wall.
Their lips move in sync against each other, Ashton's hands wrapped tightly around Luke's waist. Luke's boy could completely cover Ashton's but his hands are keeping still around the smaller boy's shoulders.

Luke is the one to pull away. "I'm sorry."
"Don't say that, I'm the one who should be sorry."
"N-No. I'm the one who should be sorry. I...I tired to kill myself!" Luke is shaking now.
It scares Ashton, Luke is like a giant to him.
Nonetheless, he walks over to the boy and engulfs him in a tight hug.

"Please don't feel bad. I should've been there for you. I...I lied to you so much. I'm not straight, I never even liked Bryana! I only dated her because I was disgusted with myself for being gay. I'm such an ass." Ashton's voice is muffled because his head is on Luke's shoulder, trying to calm the blonde boy down.

Luke sniffles. "No, you're not. You're perfect."
"I'm not perfect, Luke. You're perfect. You didn't give up on me even after I treated you so badly. I'm not perfect. I lied to you, I made fun of you, I told everyone you're gay! That's such a terrible thing to do to someone, and I knew it! But I had to tell everyone I was gay, but when I was going to, I didn't know what to say and suddenly everyone knew you're the gay one." Ashton whispers, his arms still wrapped tightly around Luke's body.

Luke and Ashton are both sobbing by now.
"I love you," Luke manages to choke out.
He's speaking the truth, he really does love Ashton. More than anything.
"I love you, too." Ashton whispers back, his face resting in the crook of Luke's neck.
Luke looks down at the boy, contemplating what to do next.
"Ashton, will you be my boyfriend?"

so much happened in this chapter I feel like it's all over the place gosh.

xx Valerie