13:20 Friday
I went to a funeral yesterday and I thought that I wouldn't be affected by it. I didn't think that I'd care but I did. He was a good man.
I drank after leaving work early and I freaked out. I didn't really want to be alone so I went to talk to Sissy (roommate #1) I showed her a picture of uncle Jay and how lovely he looked, how happy he must've been the day of the picture. It made me cry and I left her room to cry in my own space.
I hate being alone when I'm like that so I called Todd (boss/manager). I don't remember everything that I said but I was saying a lot. Told him how it wasn't fair and I just wanna be happy, I told him that my godfather (Jay/Javon) has cancer and that my bitch of a sister was pregnant and she dosnt deserve happiness and how she should be suffering and not Jay.
I regret saying all that, everyone struggles and has there own problems and I'm here complaining as if I matter. I should've kept quiet.
After talking with Todd the
I told Layne (roommate #2) that I liked them and I really hope I didn't just make things really awkward in the house. I hope they don't treat me differently.
18:03
I'm chilling with Layne right now and we bought bon chon and chips and dip. We smoked weed befor the food got here and I'm kinda high rn. I usually lay horizontal on Layne's bed when we watch South park together but now I'm laying next to him. I'm mesmerized by just there skin, there hair, there jokes, the way they laugh. I adore there laugh. This is so silly.
18:25
I pointed out his bleach tip edge and called it cute. They told me to shut up.
Matt texted me just now, I told him that I think I wanna date him. I'm like in love with Layne, my boss that I was in love with is now my best friend and Matt and Denver there just whatever.
19:01
We're flicking eachother and laying together.
Logged out
