17:11 Wednesday
Last night Matt and I had sex, first in the shower then in bed. He lasts a long time and I thought that it was me. He really is nice, he wanted to make sure I finished first. He also slept over and we got breakfast in the morning. Saying by to him was hard again but were getting more comfortable with eachother.
I hung out with Layne before my meeting with Rebecca (life coach). She brought an intern, I don't know why they do that. She drove me to work and I got Macaroons again. I work with Lin today.
I called st George university. I had called them many times before but they never pick up. I really want to go to that school. I could just go there for 7 years and leave Massachusetts behind. I have nothing really against mass but I've just kinda been here all my life. A lot of negative things I associate with this state. I would have to leave behind everything tho, like Jay, Matt, Layne and Todd. The rest of my friends of course.
18:04
After eating breakfast for the first time I feel kinda fat. I also had Macaroons and a coffee tea. I wanna go on a diet but I never stick to it. Maybe water and only veggies and meat. Like no sweets. That'd gonna be hard. Or I can just go on an all water diet for like until my birthday so I could wear something cute. My birthday unfortunately is next Thursday, I wanna hand out with Todd and work on my birthday. I hope he buys me another cake. I could celebrate my birthday with Matt on that Sunday, we were gonna go to the beach anyway so yeah.
I've been in a good mood all day because of Matt.
19:48
I'm a bad person. I always diagnosed with HIV last year around this time and I haven't told Matt, we don't use protection. I don't know hoe to tell him, should I make it look like I just got diagnosed? Does he know? Will he hate me.... should I ever tell him?
21:14
I'm having a pretty good day.
22:19
I just got off work, I feels weird leaving at the same time as everyone else. At first it felt strange leaving before everyone.
I kinda don't want to take the bus today but I have to save money, I plan on working night shift at McDonald's so I'm going to stop by there to see what I can do.
Sissy asked me do buy juice and laundry detergent but I left my wallet at home also I don't evenknow what's open rn. I miss Matt.
I see lightning in the sky but there's no rain, I think it might rain soon tho.
I wanna go home and clean. Oh I almost forgot, I have to check my.... and pay storage, I don't even know if I did this month. I have to get my art stuff for storage, I'm going to get the name changing papers and finish that, apply for different colleges, check my collage essay one more time and my emails... what else. I hope Traci gets back to me, if she says that I can't be assistant manager or shift leader then I plan on quitting next month.
22:31
There's a lady yelling about something near me and I kinda want to tell her that I'm sending good vibes and everything will turn out fine, but it's none of my business.
23:37
I just finished a call with Matt and we've agreed to a poly relationship, I'm not sure how this is going to work because I've never been in a poly relationship. I should probably text Denver (a Transmale i went on a date with) we scedualed a 3 sum with there partner, to be honest he's cute so I'm excited. My nights not over yet but I'll log off now and give the not so juicy, juicy details tomorrow.
