Desire C.B

4

*Leighton's POV*

"I'm excited to bring in the New Year with you" Colby said as we set up for the party.

"Yeah? It's my first night without Gemma, I'm kind of anxious about it" I shrugged, taking Red Solo Cups out of the packaging.

"She's with your family right?" He asked and I nodded.

"Yeah, Gabe's at his own party. My dad's watching her. My siblings are at some dumb High School party for New Years so he's excited to hang out with his granddaughter" I smiled softly, loving the idea of my dad and daughter bonding.

It was quiet for a moment until he sighed, placing napkins next to the plates by the food.

"I can't believe we haven't talked about that night in your parents house, or you moving in" Colby said and he sounded slightly peeved by it.

"Well we've been busy. I've been hanging out with my siblings a bunch before Logan leaves, and you and Sam have been busy with marketing. Do you want to talk about it now?"

Colby rolled his eyes and he was clearly annoyed.

It was weird to see him be so sensitive.

"If you really wanted to talk about it, I figured we would've talked about it more by now. I thought we just moved on" I said honestly, figuring it was just one dumb moment, and we moved on.

I've talked to Colby since then, and he didn't say anything.

"I haven't moved on" He said bluntly and I nodded, knowing he needed to express his feelings so we keep our friendship the way it was.

"Okay, well, let's talk then. What are you expecting from this conversation? What questions do you want answered?" I asked, wanting to know where we should start since he seemed more affected by this than I was.

"I want to know what now" He said, his eyes on my face as I tried to put the pieces together to answer his questions.

There was a look in his eye that showed uncertainty, and that scared me.

"Okay. Part of what now do you want to know most? What's the biggest question in your head right now?"

Colby was quiet for a moment, and I let him process, sitting in silence as I waited.

"All I'm thinking about is kissing you" He said honestly and I nodded, my focus 100% on him. "And how I like it when we hang out. I don't know.. I feel like I was so close to something.. and then Christmas ended.. and I was back to square one" 

I pursed my lips, trying to replay the past week in my head.

"What's your square one?" I asked, curious to know where he thought we went back to.

"You moving on, being on your own. Us being more distant.. not hanging out as much. I started to feel things.. and you left" 

"I didn't leave Colby. I was with my siblings. Logan is getting sent off to god knows where, and I wanted to hang out with him. I put you on the back burner for a minute, not really thinking a whole lot about our kisses in the guest room when my brother is leaving in a few weeks. I'm sorry that I didn't answer your questions and that we didn't work this out sooner.. I've just been distracted. With Gabe going back to New York soon, Logan going to wherever they need him, my stress of possibly moving back to your guys houses and... I'm just overwhelmed Colby, I'm sorry"

"No.. I'm being selfish, I'm sorry. I.. I understand" He said in a soft tone, almost seeming saddened by my words.

 "But just because I'm busy doesn't mean I should ignore you. Something huge happened between us, and I haven't acknowledged it, and I'm sorry. I know it's a big deal.. I know it changes the course of our friendship.. I just.. I truly don't know if I can do the whole boyfriend girlfriend thing. If I can make this happen, and the last thing I want to do is hurt you because I'm not ready. I've hurt you since day one for my own selfish reasons.. I don't want to do that again" I told him, hoping he understood where I was coming from.