Desire C.B

19

Part two to 18 due to WC lol

A/N: it's short due to being the end of 18, also, we do a bit of "time traveling" with the months due to I'm not wasting my WC on unimportant shit lol

*Leighton's POV*

"Do you mean that?" He asked and I sighed, rubbing my hands over my face in frustration.

"I don't know! it all got so complicated after we kissed!" I loudly exclaimed "This is what I was afraid of" I muttered, side stepping away from him and walking over towards my bed, grabbing my phone off the side table.

"Leighton.." He trailed off, myself caught staring at him, waiting for him to finish his sentence, but it never came.

"What? You seem like you have a lot to say, and yet you're standing here like an idiot. I don't know what the fuck you want Colby! I've been as transparent as I can be about what I want, and you have a problem with it... and yet, what.. a week? You find some new girl and now you're being all weird? You're confusing as fuck and quite frankly I don't want to have to deal with your problems and mine right now. A relationship is a team.. and we aren't ready. I'm not ready.. and you clearly aren't either.. I don't understand what your problem is and why you're being so immature about this. You're the one who literally doesn't ever want to have a girlfriend.. So why me?" I asked, feeling like I was talking to a wall.

I'm so fucking tired of this.

"You're worth it" He replied back instantly and I let out a breath of air through my nose, my head rolling back on my shoulders.

"Okay.. but why can't you accept that I said no? That I don't want this right now? I don't want to do this. I can't do this. I'm in no place to do this right now, Colby. I literally said you could go keep living your life the way you were-"

"No I can't" He cut me off, surprising me. "You won't be there. You won't be there how I want you to be.. and I can't get my head to ignore that. I want to try. My whole life I haven't been able to try. I mean, I have.. but you know what I mean. It's a urge I can't keep at bay Leigh-"

"I don't understand. I mean, I understand.. but I don't get it. I don't get why this is such a big deal for you. As long as I've known you, you haven't been the commitment type.. so why now? What is it about me that changed it? I don't... Colby.. please.. we can't do this" I pleaded and I watched his shoulders tense and mentally sighed, wanting to find an escape from this conversation.

"We can" he reassured and I shook my head.

"I can't"

He was silent.

God I hated this.

"Now what? What do we do? I'm not ready, and you're overly ready... I want us to be friends. To be how we were before I kissed you.. why can't we do that? Why can't you do that?"

"You know what?... Fine. I'll just forget this ever happened" He groused and I groaned.

"Colby"

"No! I can't do this! I put my heart first for once.. I do everything differently. I say my feelings, I put myself out there.. and fuck! Look what happened!" He exclaimed and I frowned.

"Colby..."

"No. I'm done. I can't be your friend right now Leigh" He said and I felt my heart drop.

"Like.. forever?" I asked quietly and he pursed his lips, shaking his head.

"For now" 

I stayed quiet, trying to process his words and figure out how to go from here, but before I could do that, he spoke up again. "I'm going to go... Welcome home Leighton" he gave me a slight nod before slipping out my bedroom door and I let out a deep breath, my heart racing as I replayed everything he said in my head.