You're My Nightmare (Under Editing)(On Hold)

Chapter 14 The Past

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LIGHTS! BOOK! READ!

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Sawyer's POV

I looked at Adam walking away from me and the scene contorted to the event and it was once again my nightmare. I heard the slam of the car door as he shut the door to get out of the car, and him telling me to stay. I should of told him to stay in the car. I should of told him not to leave. I should of told him how much I loved him. I should of told him I had a gut wrenching feeling that something terrible was about to happen. I should of done a lot of things.

A doctor ran into me knocking me out of my past. I ran to catch up with Adam but once again my past had rendered me immobile for too long. I looked up at the sky letting the rain hit my face as I gained my composure.

I walked to my car and thought back to the last couple hours of my life as I drove to my house to pick up Lily. I remembered how Adam thought I was using him, how he thought I was disgusted by his scars. But in reality it just triggered a PTSD attack and I couldn't breathe. That's why I needed to get out of the room. But how am I supposed to explain that to him? I'm already damaged enough in his eyes. I drove faster as my anger boiled up. He thought that when I saw his real life that I would reject him and from my reaction that's exactly what he thinks. I don't know how to fix this and who knows maybe Adam is better off without my baggage, God knows he has enough of his own. I parked the car in the garage and sat there a moment deciding what I should do. After ten minutes of thinking I decided to use my brain for once since my heart has gotten me nowhere but trouble. I would leave Adam alone, he didn't want me, even if I do want him. I've been alone this long, what's another life time?

I got out, and walked inside my house, I heard laughter and my mood automatically lifted. Grace and Lily were in the kitchen making cookies there was a huge mess but they were having the time of their lives.

I stood watching them have fun. I felt like a disease sometimes, that somehow my mere presence made the mood drop. I felt like the closest thing I would ever get to happiness was watching it from afar, but like the forbidden fruit I was never allowed to touch it because my misery would infect it. I thought about leaving them to have fun and come get Lily in 45 minutes to take her home, but before I could escape Grace caught me.

"Hey wanna come make cookies Lily is showing me a top secret recipe of hers?" Grace waved me over.

"Sure." I smiled and walked towards them.

"So Lily what's your favorite subject in school?" I said making light conversation as I took over mixing the top secret batter.

"Oh my god I love science because we get to do awesome experiments and sometimes..." Lily went on talking as we made the batter, baked them, and iced them. When it was time to go I realized I actually had a nice time.

I got Lily into my car and talked to Grace for a moment. A serious expression went over her face, "Be careful Sawyer okay?"

"You mean about Adam? Don't worry I'm leaving him alone once I give him back his sister." I told her.

"Why? I thought you really liked him." She looked slightly relived and concerned all at once it was a weird combination.

I shook my head, "We're not good for each other we both have enough problems we don't need to add to them. Especially with what happened with Corey you know?"

She shrugged and looked at the ground. "If it's what you want I can't stop you."

"It isn't what I want." I said honestly, Grace looked at me with sadness in her eyes, "But," I continued, "it's what we both need right now, you know?"

"Ya, hang in there okay?" She hugged me.

"Ya you too." I gave her a quick hug and a promise to call her later and I hoped in the car and started driving to Lily's house.

"You don't like my big brother do you? Not in the 'I love you' way?" I cringed at Lily's words.

"You don't understand, you'll understand when you're-" Lily cut me off finishing my sentence.

"Older, ya Adam tells me that all the time. What did he do? Is it because of our dad? Because I know people don't like us because of him and -" I stopped her.

"No no!" I tried explaining. "Look Lily it's not so much Adam as it is me. And you're an amazing little girl with big dreams, so don't let your past way you down let it be armor for life, instead of thinking of it as shackles think about it as your warrior wings that lift you up, you have earned your place to be here more than anybody." I pulled into a parking space, " Remember that." I told her everything I wish somebody would of told me. I told her what I wish I could do. I smiled at her as she nodded with her new confidence. "Come on, I'll walk you inside."

We got out of the car and were walking inside when all of a sudden I heard tires screeching and a the sound of a gun. My instincts went into overdrive as I moved to protect Lily from anything that may cause her harm. I hissed in pain as something hit my thigh.

I looked over at Lily who was unconscious from hitting her head on the ground. I was shaking as I saw the blood coming from my thigh. I pulled out my phone and dialed Grace but it automatically went to voice mail. It's then I realized my mistake of not charging my phone last night as it booted off. "Really freaking convenient timing don't you think?!" I yelled out loud as I shoved it back in my pocket. This was the type of neighborhood that gunshots were normal so nobody came rushing out at the sound, not even Adam.

I heard the car that shot at me stop and I knew they were coming to finish the job. I took in a deep breathe and stood up cursing up a storm as I did. I looked back down at Lily wishing she would just wake up, seeing as that wasn't going to happen I picked her up at the sound of people getting out of the not so drive by car.

It took everything in me and then some to make it to the door. I put Lily down on the wall and got in her pocket and scanned her ID as fast as I could, when the lock clicked I quickly shoved her inside. But I heard the people's foot steps right behind us so I screamed for help as I shoved Lily's leg in the building and slammed the door closed as the people grabbed at me, leaving Lily safely locked inside and me outside with my killer.