Her World

Chapter Twenty-One

Chapter 21

“Marie, answer me! Who did this?!” Jake roared at me.

“No one”

“No one?” he laughed. “You expect me to believe that these just magically appeared? Do you think I’m stupid?” He growl at me, his eyes once the colour of rich soil was now black. The flicker from yellow flames reflected into Jakes eyes.

“No” I mumbled, well I guess there’s no hiding from it now.

“Well then please explain how this happened. I swear whoever I find out did this, I will kill them”

I didn’t say anything; I’m trying to work out how to tell him. He won’t look at me like he did a few minutes ago, he will never be able to look at me and love me. My heart ached thinking about how I’m going to lose him. I couldn’t lose him; he was the only thing keeping me alive.

“Well?” Jake pressed. Tears welled up in my eyes.

“Please don’t hate me” my voice was barely above a whisper but Jake must have heard as his eyes softened a little.

Jake bent down so he was eyelevel with me and cupped my chin in his hands. “Hate you? Marie I could never hate you. This isn’t your fault” his thumb was leaving warm trails where he stroked the bottom of my chin ridding my tears.

“It is, you don’t understand” I moved my eyes to meet his, there weren’t cold anymore, they were scared and worried.

“Then make me understand” he pleaded. This is it; I might as well get this over with now. I moved from his grip and sat down on the sofa. I stared blankly at the gleaming yellow lights which would shudder from the little draft every now and then. I felt the side of the sofa fall a bit as Jake sat down.

“Please Marie” I turned my face away from the candles to the handsome lad sitting beside me. He looked worried and I instantly guilt washed over me. I’m making him miserable, this was my doing. I didn’t deserve him and he didn’t deserve what I was doing to him. I wanted to run out of the light and into the darkness and hide from this, from everything.

But I couldn’t hide anymore.

“I did it” I said in a small voice. I tore my eyes away from his; I just played with my ring on my finger nervously. He didn’t say anything; I risked a glance up at him and immediately regretted it. He was blank. More tears fall down my puffy face, I would rather him look at me with disgust or anger then with no expression what so ever.

I knew he wouldn’t accept me now, I knew he would think I was a freak. I glanced down at him trembling hands again, let out a breath and again to slowly get up. But before I could rise to my feet, two large warm hands latched onto mine keeping me in place.

“Don’t go” was all he said, I have never heard him sound so fragile before. His voice was soft but hoarse. Wait hoarse? That would mean he would be crying. I pulled my eyes away from out intertwined hands to his face.

More guilt flooded my body as I look into Jake red puffy eyes, a single tear fall from his worried deep brown eyes. I had made the bad boy cry.

“Why?” He looked me straight in the eye. I felt as if my mask had been taken from me and now I was no longer protected. I felt bare.

“You really wouldn’t understand” I moved my glaze back down the my lap

“Then make me. Please look at me Marie, I need to know why you would do such a thing to yourself” I did as he asked; my eyes meet his once more. I was going to tell him everything, it’s what he deserves even if it means I want ever be able to feel his touch again.