paint · ziam au

xxvii

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(words: 2.652)

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Furious. Heartbroken. Confused. Devastated.

Those words could barely even describe the horrendous feeling all over Liam's body. Everything came crashing down on him; every memory he shared with Zayn, every feeling he had towards him, every single second he spent with beautiful lad- it was as if it was dream he had just woken up from.

Like as if this was all just some dream that he had gotten really in to. Where it felt as if it were really going on and he would just think to himself "happening this is". The dullness around his heart was painted and splattered on with marvelous colors that he never has seen before; his heart was the canvas of Zayn Malik's love.

But he had sadly woken up from that dream. It was a true disappointment- maybe even more than that because he's never felt so broken andd shattered before.

He actually wished this wasn't some sappy metaphor but an actual dream. Because he probably would've taken it easier to know that this beautiful experience was coming from that almost nonexistent part of his mind. He would've been happier knowing that Zayn was still somewhere out there and that this didn't actually end this way. But it sadly did.

He didn't see it coming. Damn, never would he had thought this would ever happen, not even in some messed up alternative universe.

Love seemed overrated to him in the past. How stupid can you be to cry over some other human being? Especially someone who is willing to hurt you in any possible way. Liam had thought that he had to be utterly stupid to actual suffer heartbreak, no way would he ever find himself grieving and depressed by the departure of a lover.

But oh, the irony. What a bitch it was, because Liam was sat in the middle of his disastrous living room on the couch that was thrown over to the side, not even bothering to tidy it up a bit. The numb and cold expression he wore was close to being a poker-face, but the hot tears that rolled down his red cheeks told otherwise. He held the crumpled sticky note in his hand, harshly being squished in between the palm of his hands and his curled fingers, his short nails digging into the skin as he tried to keep his mind blank.

But that was impossible when the only person he's ever actually loved decided to betray and play him and only leave a sticky note as some pathetic excuse.

No actual goodbye, just a few words scribbled down on a piece of paper.

Liam final broke a bit more, scrunching his face up as his jaw slightly trembled, his face reddening in anger and humiliation. He brought his clenched fist that held the crumpled sticky note, to his mouth, biting it because he was not going to sob. He hasn't had an actual breakdown in years (the death of his father being the last time he actually cried) and he was not going to prove his weakness by crumbling down because of someone who really meant nothing all along. He was stronger than that, he can live without him, because he had a life before Zayn and he can definitely live without him.

But it seemed impossible to actually think about living without the young man. His bright smile and tender voice, careful actions and beautiful heart. Liam missed it all so much and the last time he saw him was this morning.

He kissed his cheek, his black stubble tickling his lips as the boy mumbled an 'I love you' as he tried to flutter his eyes open, trying to properly say goodbye to his lover before he would go to work. Liam smiled down at the sleepy boy who could barely keep an eye open, chuckling and pecking his lips and telling him he loves him back. He then sighed and left out the door, wishing that time could actually fly so he could be with Zayn.