Baka Balang Araw

Kabanata 15

Kabanata 15

First fight

I envy my sister for she was always the center of attraction.

Ba't ganun? I always did my best to prove myself to anybody and even just one glance I never have kasi si Aira na lang parati. Si Aira na lang yung nagiging mundo nila na pati ako ay nakakalimutan na, kami ni kuya.

I sobbed.

Wondering all that Alev's had said. May gusto ba siya sa kapatid ko? Or does she want my sister? Ano naman ang pake ko doon? Let him like her all the way he want. Sino ba ako para pigilan siya?

Siguro, talagang hindi enough yung lahat ng ginawa kong sakripisyo na hanggang ngayon ay hindi ko parin deserve ang atensyon ng mga tao sa paligid ko.

Maybe, I wasn't really that fortunate to have everyone's attention.

I should just focus on loving myself. Accepting myself. And, respecting other people's choice. I won't have to prove myself people truly cares will accept and gave just a little attention to me.

I won't beg. I won't chase. I'll let fate go with it's own flow. I won't rush things I'll wait for things to be right where they should be. I'm craving for attention but I won't beg for it. No, not in my blood.

Mawala na lahat sa akin pero hindi ako hahabol. Mangangarap ako at aabutin ko yun pero hindi ako magmamakaawa sa kanila.

Only pride remains on me and I am not going to lose it in just a one snap.

Sa gitna ng pag-iisip ko ay hindi ko namalayan na nakatulog na pala ako only when I know nung naalimpungatan akong nagising. Mataas na ang araw at mahapdi na sa balat ang sikat nito. Ayaw pang bumangon ng katawan ko pero dapat ko itong igalaw.

I need to wake up right now. May klase na naman bukas at kailangan ko pang mag review mamaya para sa exam namin next week. Humihikab akong pumasok sa loob ng banyo. I looked at my reflection on the mirror.

Wow. I looked fucked up and messed up. Dalawang malalaking eyebags ang natamo ko sa kakaiyak kagabi. Why I was so hurt at that? So, what if it was always Aira? Inggit lang ito at mali ito. Envy was in the seven capital of sins and I won't let envy ruin me.

Pinilig ko ang ulo sa mga naiisip. I started to take my clothes off.

All I need right now is a hot shower. I smiled in myself when the water stated to pulled down, making my whole body wet in an instance.

"You are the cause of my euphoria, eya, eya, eya, euphoria."may pagkanta kanta pa akong nalalaman habang nagsha-shampoo sa loob ng banyo.

Well, I could move on that easily.

Matapos kong maligo ay nagbihis ako ng short shorts at crop top na kulay purple na sweater. I paired my outfit to a black boots. Inabot ko naman mula sa kama ang cellphone at wallet ko bago sinuksok sa bulsa.

Chin up. Stomach in. Walk with confidence.

Lumabas ako ng bahay na wala man lang masakyan. Buti na lang nadala ko dito noong nakaraan ang skateboard ko.

I get my skateboard from inside and then I started to maneuver it using my both legs. I started to paddle my boared. After a minute huminto ako sa isang cafe dito sa Viejo.

Pumasok ako dala ang skateboard ko at dumulog sa counter.

"Good morning! Welcome to Green Cafe, what's your order, ma'am?"tanong ng lalaking nasa counter.

"One cappuccino, thank you."wika ko at tumango naman ang lalaki sa akin.

"Anything, ma'am?"

"Wala na, I'm fine with that."sagot ko at tumango ulit siya.