Invisible

36

Ash

He just said he was leaving. Just left. Leaving me. Leaving us his friends behind. Granted there has been a few too many deaths lately for my liking. Someone called Jessy- fire. Jace- poison plants. Lola- car crash. I didn't know many but i felt pain every time. Ive been told some healers feel this its rare but it happens. I feel death.

I never got to say how i really felt. Maybe they saw it as a joke. But it wasn't. I swear.
I cant end things this way. I dont care if he's a heterosexual male. I want to. No. I need to tell him how i feel. No matter how cliqué or tedious it sounds.

I start chasing after them. Everyone trying to hold me back. I don't listen. I run i stop them as they got into the surrounding forrest when i catch up to them.

I don't let them talk. I just talk at them. "I know you need to go, but i need to say something first then you can forget about me. I didn't joke about having feelings for you. They were real. First they were a crush which came from the joke. But then we got to spend time together as friends and i fell i fell hard. I know its weird. We werent the closest. And vic you're so lucky."
I can see this is akward so i try to tie it up. Mostly because i heard footsteps. I was given a look to say hurry up and i did.
"Im a healer and all i want ro do now is heal me. But. If only I could heal a broken heart. Id heal mine."

They start walking slowly away agin. Away from me. Did they hear me?
"If i was gay or at least bi. Maybe i would've dated you. Leaving my friends will be the hardest thing ill ever do. Unless i kill someone. But Ash. I might write a letter or two." Jake says before Vic hits him on the shoulder and they start running again dropping a bag. Probably to make the load lighter. But he left. Now i have to move on.
Live my life. On my own, alone forever.

I go to pick up the bag and inside is just a bit of food. A few moments later after just sitting alone sext to a tree for a while some guards come and collect me. They escort me back to the school. And i am thoroughly warned about leaving school Un-permitted during the week.

And i live my life knowing there was nothing i could've done. It was fate that made me mot tell him. That made him and Vic be together. It is fate that leaves me alone. Hopefully ill find someone. But who am i kidding. Ill die alone. Never ro see Jake again.