Intricate: The Beginning of Us| MARKNOMINHYUCK(bxbxbxb)

19: It's nice to have a friend

Mark

The last school bells ring on Thursday and I decide to stop by Donghyuck's classroom, realizing we haven't talked much lately. We had lunch together earlier but the atmosphere was silent, awkward even. I could only frown at the thought of lunch with him this whole week. Donghyuck is not someone who is quiet, not usually. It worries me a little, I come to the conclusion, taking confident strides to his classroom, hoping he hasn't left. Maybe it's just that my mind has been preoccupied with Jaemin lately that I feel this way but something is still... off with him. 

I sigh in relief when I arrive and he's still inside, sitting on top of a desk and laughing with a group of boys who I presume are his friends. I smile. That, inside the room, seems more like him. The grin stays on my face. That is until he steps on the desk and stands on it, silly dancing and laughing loudly, contagiously. It would have been fine if someone was holding onto it but the staggering of the desk made my stomach churn with worry and I couldn't stop myself from stepping inside.

"Donghyuck," I call out and he immediately stops his movement, his smile and the melodious tone escaping his lips faltering at once and a pang of hurt goes through me as I step further inside, conscious of the eyes that were on me. "You'll get hurt," I tell him softly. 

A small smile returns to his lips, one that didn't quite reach his eyes. "Don't worry about me, Hyung." He clears his throat, glancing at his friends that looked quite interested in our conversation before his gaze returns to me and I notice he didn't look me directly in the eyes. "What are you doing here?" He questions, stepping down and sitting on the desk again and it takes all my willpower to not reach my hands out to him to help him down.

"I thought," I couldn't help but notice how weak--vulnerable--my voice sounded, "I could walk you to the cafe today," I finish off.

"Uh," he stays quiet for long before giving me a tight-lipped smile. "Sure," he says, hopping off the desk. He waves his friends goodbye and leads the way out. 

Donghyuck

I was always in front of him the whole way out of the school and he just followed silently even once we were outside. I can hear him kick rocks once in a while and I can see them roll beside me. I don't dare to turn around and look at his face. If he has something to say, then he can do it but he doesn't have much time left. The cafe isn't really far away from the school, a five-minute walk max. At the pace we're going, I would say seven minutes.

"This is annoying," I mumble under my breath, to myself.

"What?" Mark asks from behind.

"Nothing," I murmur in response, kicking pebbles out of the sidewalk.

"What's going on Donghyuck?" He questions after a few seconds of quiet, one of his hands wrapped around one of my wrists, stopping me from walking. I don't turn to look at him. He just remains with his hand on my wrist, my body a step from my arm. I refuse to look at him for fear of breaking down. "I don't like this. You can talk to me, we're friends... aren't we?" There was nervousness, doubt, perhaps, in his voice that made me want to be in his arms and reassure him. What did I want to reassure? I have to think about that.

I sigh, "Of course, we're friends, Hyung." The grip on my wrist loosens. He knows that I'm serious when I call him Hyung. His hand remains there, however. "There just has been a lot on my mind." I could feel the hesitation when he finally let go of my wrist and immediately shoved his hands into his hoodie pocket.

"Well... you can talk to me, you know that, you should know that."

I know that. But how do you go for advice on love to your crush? I felt that perhaps this wasn't a situation where I can talk to him. Not like I did when I need help with homework or needed to work out problems with one of my friends.

"Not now," is how I decide to respond, my head down and looking at my fidgeting feet. It felt so out of character for me. I can tell and I can see that Mark thinks the same. I'm supposed to be Mr. Condifent, always-knows-what-to-say, sassy Donghyuck. But I can't right now. Not under his gaze. 

My head was still down when I feel his body against mine, his arms around me and I just stay still there, rigid, frozen. "I've been so focused on my love life that I haven't been paying enough attention to you. I know that you have other friends and that I do as well but it feels different with you, you know? You're precious to me, Donghyuck."

My heart started beating faster than it ever has and butterflies swarmed my stomach. I can feel my cheeks and ears become hot and I tried to calm the fuck down but with his chest against mine and his head on my shoulder, his arms around me, it was impossible. It's the first time he has given me a hug, and I knew nothing other than wanting to say here, between his arms. It feels safe and warm and... did he just call me precious? I feel special with him even though I really am not, I'm just Lee Donghyuck. Boring, normal, Lee Donghyuck. Just like any other boy walking out of the school, just like any person that's walking on the other side of the road.

"It's nice to have a friend like you," he sighs, tightening his hold on me, and all at once, my heart chatters. "I just needed the reassurance that we're okay. Are we?" He questions at the same time that my eyes well up with tears.

"Of course... Of course, Hyung," I said, clearing my throat and taking a step back. I look to the side, unable to make eye contact. "I- I should get going. I'll see you tomorrow," I tell him and hurry to walk off.

I don't look back. I don't listen in to hear if maybe he's following me. I look down at the concrete as drips of water show up and I question if it's raining but soon realize that it's just my tears. I reach a hand to my cheek and wipe the tears off.

Why do we even have feelings? I ask myself as I put on a bright face and step into the cafe, ready to hide my true feelings again.

A/N: I don't know but this is my favorite chapter so far 😭