Intricate: The Beginning of Us| MARKNOMINHYUCK(bxbxbxb)

35: Never forget I love you

Jaemin

I sat on a chair, my legs to my chest and my chin resting between my knees as I watch my bedroom window. I found myself in this position after school for the past two days. It was Friday now and the only thing I could continue to think about was Donghyuck, essentially followed by thoughts of Mark and Jeno but at the moment, my main focus was Donghyuck and the moment we had shared Wednesday afternoon.

Every now and then, Jaehyun-Hyung would peek into my room. I could hear his footsteps and the sound of the door creaking but he never said a word and I felt it was better if I left it unacknowledged.

My eyes trail each drop of rain that slips down my window.

I have been avoiding everyone; my brother, my mom, my best friend, my boyfriend, my two crushes, and even Ms. Kwon who seemed very interested to have a conversation with me every time we passed each other in the school corridors. After what happened, I found myself unable to focus on anything. My mind keeps going back to that day and how dazed I felt during the kiss and then the way I felt my heart drop when I had come back to my senses and realized what I was doing. Every time I recall how I had spit out the words 'I'm sorry' before running away, a lump would form in my throat. My eyes watered and I felt unable to move, my legs got shaky and my hands clammy.

I let out a shaky breath as I focus again on the rain. It seems to be slowing down, I note before looking down at my hands which were holding my legs together.

The weather got gloomy all of a sudden a couple of days ago and it made me wonder if it was a reflection on how shitty my life feels right now. But I knew better than that. It's not like the world revolves around me. There are people who have harsher problems and yet here I am, crying over kissing the boy that I like.

I let out a dry laugh at that.

For the past few days, my hand has been itching to reach for my phone. To call Mark. I need to tell him, I know. The guilt has been weighing down in my heart and one of the thoughts that have been haunting me was the need to tell him what happened that day.

"Jaem?" I hear from the entrance of my bedroom.

"Hm?" I hum meekly as a response, my eyes still staring out at the slowing rain.

"A couple of my seniors want to go out for dinner. Will you be okay?" He doesn't want to leave me alone, I can tell from the worried tone he used but he knows he has to go. Everyone knows that in Korea, you can't simply turn down an offer from a superior.

"Go, Hyung. I'm not a kid. I can take care of myself for a couple of hours. I'll probably just stay in my room," I mumble out.

I hear him sigh. "I've left food in the fridge. Heat it up and eat it before going to sleep. I'll check when I come back so it better not be here," he tells me and I hum.

I listen to the sound of shuffling before there's a weight on my shoulder. I barely move my head to see his face beside mine, his arms around me. His eyes are closed gently but his face was still tense. "I hate seeing you like this," he whispers, and instantly, I feel a lump on my throat come back and tears welling in my eyes as I shakily breath, turning my head to look forward again.

"I'm sorry," I tell him quietly, for only him to hear even if there was no one else around to listen in. His arms tighten around me.

"I don't want you to be sorry, Jaem. I want to see you smile again. I know you are conscious of what you're doing, I know you're old enough to make your own decisions, but I still hate seeing you like this," he huffs exasperatedly. "I wish I could just take all the pain away," he sniffles, making me turn to look at him.

I chuckle slightly. "Don't be a crybaby, Hyung." He opens his eyes and turns to look at me.

"I miss when we were little," he whispers. I grow unsure whether he meant to say that out loud or not but my question is answered when he continues to speak. "You were only ever smiling, there were no worries in the world," he sighs. "We played and we spent 24/7 together, relying on each other... I feel like you don't need me anymore or rather you don't want to need me anymore and I hate it." I can sense that he was trying his best to not let his voice crack and that makes some of my tears slip. I turn my chair and directly face him, wrapping my arms around his waist.

"I'll always need you Hyung," I tell him in a weak voice. "But I also need to learn to rely on myself more. I know you'll always be here. I love you, Hyung. I don't think I've said it in a long time but I genuinely love you. I couldn't wish for a better brother."

"God, we're cheesy," he says after a couple of seconds of quiet and I turn my head up to look at him. He isn't crying (contrary to me) but his eyes are red and he is quite clearly containing himself. "I love you too, Jaem. I'll never let you forget that."

I nod firmly at him and give him a squeeze before letting him go. "Let me know how your dinner goes," I state with a small grin.

He smiles back with a nod before walking away.

Instead of going back to welling in my thoughts, I take hold of my phone that was on my bedside table and turn it on. I pay close attention to the sound of the front door opening and closing before I look down at the bright screen. I stare at the electronic device before sighing and placing it back down.

I can't confront him. I need to but I just... can't.

A/N: Some Jae brothers fluff 🥺

I hope you enjoyed this chapter!! I love you alll ❤️❤️❤️