Intricate: The Beginning of Us| MARKNOMINHYUCK(bxbxbxb)

3: Coward

Jaemin

I stared at the hand in front of me not knowing what to think of it, completely forgetting about the pain. I looked like a weirdo without a doubt, to him and the couple of people that still hadn't left the school and simply passed by me who was still on the floor, my body propped up by my elbows. It wasn't until the boy shook his hand a little that I came back to my senses, I accept it soon which results in him helping me up.

I take a note of his face, his usual wide and bright smile is gone, making me shiver slightly as he looks quite intimidating for the first time since I first saw him. He looks me up and down judgingly making me self-conscious, squirming uncomfortably under his gaze as shivers ran down my spine.

When his eyes come back to my face, his lips tug up in a smile, "Na Jaemin?"

How does he know my name? I ask myself as my heart begins to go faster. He just looked at me like that but I'm feeling like this. Gosh, I'm a disappointment.

I must've stayed quiet for too long that made him speak again. He chuckles, "You come over often to the cafe I work in, I tend to memorize the names of our usuals," he explains.

I nod slowly, certain that my face shows nothing but confusion at the moment.

"I'm Donghyuck, Lee Donghyuck," he greets. 'I know,' I thought.

"Jeno can be an asshole, right?" He questions rhetorically with a scowl as he looks behind me. where Jeno had disappeared off to.

'Are they friends? How do they know each other?' I ask myself, my train of thoughts getting the best of me as I forget to say anything in return.

He clears his throat, "I wanted to talk to you about something," he states confidently, his eyes not leaving mine while my legs began to tremble, feeling vulnerable as if I was naked in front of him.

He looks to the side, through the window of the classroom I was previously in which makes me turn my head as well. The only two people there were my teacher and Mark-Hyung who, as it seems, was having a very serious conversation with her. Mark had the class textbook in his hand, opened up, tracing over something with his finger, frowning. Meanwhile, Mrs. Kim looks completely focused on what he was saying. Gosh, he looks so cute furrowing his eyebrows.

I look back at the one in front of him, confusion was written on my face with no attempt in hiding it. "W- what is it about?"

He calmly turns his head to look at me, his smile changing to one that looked as if he wanted to kill me.

"Just stay away from him," he says, "I'm asking for both of our sakes."

'What?' I widen my eyes, "What- what do you mean?" I question trying to look as composed as possible. 'My crush has a crush on my other crush. Wow. Great. Amazing. Splendid.'

"Stay away from Mark-Hyung. I saw that he helped you yesterday at the cafe and how you were looking at him, I'm no fool." He pauses. "Yes, I like him. I came out as bisexual after finding out that I had feelings for him," he was basically glaring at me at this point with his arms crossed over his chest, walking towards me as I backed up. "I don't plan on giving him up. I will wait until he's mine," he finishes off once my back was pressed on a wall. He seemed so determined like nothing would change his mind and I wanted to cry, I could feel my eyes becoming watery.

"S- sorry," I stutter out, looking down at my feet which were moving around unable to stay put.

"Hey, I didn't mean to make you cry, I just want to inform you that," he says in an alarmed tone, moving a step back.

"I- it's not that," I say softly, mustering the courage to look up at him while wiping my tears away. I put on a small smile, "I've already given up, he just suddenly approached me offering his help and I accepted it. I won't take it for granted and I won't try anything," I look down, "I promise."

"Oh," he replies quietly as if that was all he could say as he takes one more step back. We both stay silent for some seconds. Clearly, there was nothing that was left to be said. "I'll-," he clears his throat, "I'll get going," he says after that, walking away soon enough.

Just one second after, when I deemed that he was far enough, I crouch down and let my tears slide out of my eyes and all the way down my jaw, making no attempt to wipe them off. I sat down on the cold, dirty school floor, burying my head into my knees as I tried my best to keep my wailing low.

Oh if only Donghyuck knew that I wasn't crying only because of him liking Mark-Hyung. If he knew that this nobody liked him and two other boys--one of which was his crush. If he knew how I've pathetically admired him from afar for the last year. If only he knew that these stupid feelings have been haunting me for the past year. If he knew how badly these feelings are that I sometimes cry myself to sleep; how stupid I feel every time I do so.

Because these feelings will never progress, not when there are many other better people chasing for them, not when I am not even trying to appeal myself to them. But that's my pathetic ass's fault because I was never brave enough to approach them, to greet them, to become their friend, to have one simple conversation.

That's how I realized, I gave up without even trying and I deem myself a coward for it. A pathetic and dumb coward.

I sob for what felt like hours and hours until I felt drained and out of energy and that there were no more tears left to cry. I weakly stand up, noting that the sky was only a little darkened before I begin to walk, the destination being home.