The Eighty Nine's leader. My Lover.

Chapter 6.

I spent the rest of the day thinking about me, my life, my choices and how bad I've messed up, Adelle will never forgive me. She took me in, gave me a home and I get impregnated by her only son. How do I always end up in shitty situations? I sat down again but I couldn't sit for too long, I was back to the pacing again, right now, I do need someone to talk to and no, not one of the many people from the social services.

I ran to the toilet and once again, all the food I had tried to take down came back and it hurt, I hate throwing up. I missed my periods and I didn't even notice, I was too busy working and focusing on my schoolwork, I was trying to forget about that night and now I have a daily reminder. I looked at myself in the mirror, my stomach has a bump and I never noticed.

Adelle knocked on the door making me jump screaming."Are you okay in there?".

"Yes, I just... I was daydreaming!".

She laughed."You and your daydreams, I'm going to the shops, need anything?".

"No, yes, don't forget peanut butter".

"How could I when you try to kill me everytime I do? See you in a bit".

I watched her car drive off from the window, she'll be back in two to three hours, I have enough time to have a chat with myself. This stomach will be bigger next week and the week after it'll grow still and soon enough I'll run out of clothes, I don't have clothes that can hide my huge ass belly.

There's only one thing left to do, it's not going to be easy but it will save everyone from any more pain and suffering. I don't even remember what happened that night, I do remember the attempted rape, the fight, the alcohol, more alcohol, sex and that's all, nothing else. How I wish I could switch off the part of my brain which remembers the sex part. It was my first time and I don't even remember it.

All I know is I had sex with Jace, Adelle's son, my brother, I have to do this, I just sat there staring into thin air, I wasn't expecting Jace to come by but I kept hoping he would come. Maybe it'll help make sense of this, both of us are responsible for this. What am I saying? There's no way Jace will take responsibility. I tried to trap him that did make me scream my lungs out hitting a cup on the bedside table, it broke on the floor.

Adelle isn't here, I closed my eyes and got down on my knees picking up the broken pieces and I cut my hand so bad the blood started dripping to the floor. I sighed and walked in the bathroom rinsing it off and I felt nothing. No pain at all. I can't be numb now, I need to feel this, I need to feel something else, other than what my heart is feeling or I will lose my mind. I closed my eyes as tight as I could and I pressed on my wound.

It worked, I opened my eyes and tears rolled down my cheeks, I moved my other hand down to my stomach holding it. I'm so sorry kid. And I felt her or maybe not but it made me feel better thinking that I felt her.

Jace

"You need to leave".Kristy just stared back at Jace, confused."Did you hear what I just said? You need to leave, now".

"Leave? What do you mean leave?".

Jace tried by all means to control his anger."I mean take all your clothes and leave".

"No, I'm not leaving before you tell me what's going on".

"Look, Kristy what we had was nice and all but it's over now, I need you to leave".

Kristy just nod and stood up taking her coat putting on over her short dress, she put on her high heels and took her purse, Jace watched her walking away to the elevator. He stood up and called after her.

"What?".

"Your sneakers".

Kristy chuckled walking back, hitting Jace with her shoulder pushing him back, he closed his eyes holding his waist, she walked in the elevator and the doors closed. He sat down pouring himself a glass of vodka, he should probably quit drinking, alcohol is responsible for the mess he's in. Damnit, Hazel. She's probably hurting more than him and what he said to her made it all worse. He didn't mean any of the things he said. Fuck.

There's no going back from this, for either of them. What happened between them was definitely going to stay as a secret right? No one was going to know they had sex and now that can't happen because she is pregnant. Adelle is going to kill him. He should stop thinking about pregnant Hazel. She's not going to see him, ever again.

He's not ready to be a father yet, he's not ready to be responsible for a life, he lives a dangerous life, full of enemies. He decided to just drink straight from the bottle, he needs to get drunk, he stumbled to the door locking himself in his bedroom. When he's drunk he does stupid things and he has done enough damage for a decade, he needs to stay at home and get drunk then sleep it off.

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I looked up at myself in the mirror, it came again, I moved to the toilet seat and threw up again. My throat hurts from all the throwing up, evenings are the worst, it gets so hard I have to turn up all the volume in my stereo just to make sure Adelle doesn't hear me.

I should have known something was up when I started throwing up everyday, hated everything and everyone, started liking peanut butter sandwiches mixed with prickles. Prickles. I washed my hands and face on the sink and went to the kitchen, I want prickles and nothing just a bottle, I opened it and put my nose in it smelling it. It's better than nothing.

I missed my period and I never noticed because I was too busy worrying about Adelle finding out, I put the bottle down and ran to my bedroom. I should have noticed. I was suppose to notice, if I have noticed earlier then I wouldn't be here.

I took my bag and ran out catching a taxi to town, the doctor let me see her even though I didn't make an appointment. She wants to help she knows I'm young and right now I'm feeling things, I've never felt before.

"How can I help you?".

I cleared my throat then looked around, this is harder than I thought."Is abortion possible?".

"Yes, seeing as you're only a month pregnant we offer medical abortion".

"What's that?".

She pulled her chair to mine."Medical abortions are typically performed by administering a two-drug combination which is mifepristone followed by misoprostol. Sometimes we use misoprostol when there's no mifepristone.

You can take the pills at home, it will feel like bad, really bad period pains for an hour or two, sometimes three but it is safe and effective".

I just looked at her, she smiled giving me a pamphlet.