stuck on you. → ltm | ✓

17.

chapter seventeen: pregnant

I LEFT TAEMIN'S house early the next morning. He drove me to my house at four so I could sneak in in time. I was clad in one of his t-shirts and boxer shorts after I somehow managed to (quite embarrassingly) throw up all over myself. It seems the recovery from yesterday's events hadn't settled in yet.

After successfully sneaking into my room, I lay on my bed straight away. I can't even fall asleep with all these thoughts running through my mind.

Do I tell Fei? No, she'd send Lucas, and I don't want him in juvie for my own issues.

As much as I really hate him, I don't wish death upon him. The best I can do to let this hatred seep away as best as it can is to simply break up with him.

I can't even cut up or burn his clothes. That'll be too easy.

As I bring a hand toward my face to cover my mouth while yawning, my fingers come back wet. I didn't even realise that I'd been crying.

Deep in my thoughts, I finally manage to fall into an even deeper sleep.

-

"Jaemin!" A voice snaps. "Stop standing around like you're a life-sized lampshade and get a damn bucket!"

I reluctantly open my eyes to meet with Johnny's concerned ones.

"Are you okay?" He coos, rubbing my back soothingly.

I open my mouth to answer, but the rubbing induces another gallon of sick. Thankfully, Jaemin runs in with a bucket just in time.

Once I seem to have calmed down, he helps me to the bathroom as I prepare to shower and brush my teeth.

"Do you still want to go to school?" He asks.

"Yes," I answer, a lot more seriously than I thought I would.

"Are you sure?" He repeats.

"Yes, Johnny. I'm sure."

I get ready and dress comfortably, wearing a thick layer of makeup to conceal my paleness.

I try my best to act as fine as possible throughout the day. That is, until I visit the library.

I sit alone, studying and taking notes on my iPad when Ten hovers behind the chair.

"Can I-"

"No."

"A, I-"

"No means no!" I groan, already disgusted and irritated with him. The sullen, sorrowful look on his face doesn't help me much either.

"I'm breaking up with you. Happy?" I flash a scarily wide, false smile. "Now get out of my sight."

"Won't you let me explain?"

"No."

"Please?"

Sighing, I realise that this whole thing might go on forever if I don't find a firmer, unfortunately, last resort of an answer. "You have two minutes."

I watch him hesitantly sit, obviously expecting me to potentially start screaming at him again.

He explains, and provides me with story after story, excuse after excuse. Apparently, Mia needed dirt on Taemin because she was beyond obsessed with him from what I hear (definitely not my own conclusion) . He tells me how I 'need to put myself in his shoes because he didn't intend to fall for her.' He spent so much time with her that he didn't expect to fall for her hair extensions and -literally- billion-dollar smile.

At the point of ambiguity, I lose it. The thoughts in my mind refuse to let go of the statement and it's already on the tip of my tongue.

"I think I'm pregnant."

His mouth stops moving and spewing absolute rubbish as his eyes search my face as if looking for a sign of a joke. I show none.

"What?"

"You heard me. I'm pregnant. Well, I think I am."

He closes his eyes for a few seconds in deep thought. He eventually opens them, but only to ask another question.

"Are you going to keep it?"

It wasn't unexpected, I'll give you that.

"What, are you insinuating that I don't?"

"I mean,"

"I knew it!" I exclaim, tears filling my eyes.

His expression was an emotionless one, as he stared at me, watching me break down.

"You really want me to get an abortion?"

"Listen, A. This is hard for me too." He attempts to comfort me, reaching out to touch my arm but I violently jerk away.

"So that means we're dictating what happens to my body now? Okay."

"Either you get an abortion, or forget it!" He stood in his seat too, now towering over me.

I'm now beyond shocked and disgusted. Four years. Four.

"For all I know, you could've been hooking up with your damn tutor!"

At this point, I don't even bother holding back.

"Is it because I didn't beat you up the first time?"

"Areum." His voice softens up, but I'm already packing up, shaking with anger.

"Maybe I will." I snap at him. "Yeah. I'll hook up with him and send you video footage."

"Areum, wait! I didn't mean what I said. I still love and care about you, but I'm just trying to help. I was in the heat of the moment."

"Heat of the moment? Heat of the moment?!" I shriek at him, making him flinch.

I snatch all my stuff up and shove him to the ground while pushing past him to leave.

So much for a civil conversation.

"Areum, please. I love you. I do." He power-walks behind me. "Let's just go home. I'll take you out somewhere nice and we can-"

I turn and spit at him. "And I hate you. You make me sick."

That evening, I speak to both Jeno and Jaemin, making them swear not to tell Johnny about the plan.

Though I've been experiencing pregnancy-like symptoms, I'm thankfully not carrying anything for that bastard. I just needed to know what he'd say if I was sure and now that I know, I'm glad I won't have to bring a child to suffer with him as their father.

Still, my heart has a sore void that forces tears in my eyes as I try my best to fall asleep.