Fallen Guardian

16. Desperate

Five days, it's been five whole days since Izuku has been gone.

One hundred twenty hours, eight minutes and thirty seconds to be exact.

Katsuki would know because he has counted each God damn miserable day right down to the fucking second and tonight is no different.

The blonde hasn't been doing well and that's an understatement.

He's been practically sleepless for the past five days, to consumed by thought to allow himself to sleep, that and there's a part of him that wonders if Izuku ever shows himself while he's asleep and he doesn't want to miss the chance to see him.

The blonde is shorter fused than normal, his temper at the surface always, fueled by lack of sleep and heartache, it's more explosive and unpredictable.

He hasn't worked a full day of work in the last four days, he can't focus and his temper with his friends isn't helping.

They want to help, unsure what's wrong but he refuses to tell them, most days he ignores any and all text or calls from them.

The blonde glances at the clock.

It's after 9pm . Crimson eyes shift to his bedroom ceiling where he's laying restless and empty feeling.

There's a song playing in the background while thoughts twist in a tortured way inside a sleep deprived mind.

He's prayed more times than he can count more times than he ever has in his whole damn life only to be ment with silence.

His heart aches in his chest, a mind working so much that he's tired of fucking thinking at all.

He's been worried that the greenett is hurt, or dead, locked away some place.

He's wondered if he might actually be here but just hidden, even that thought is making him feel crazy and he doesn't think so because yesterday he actually cut himself pretty badly by accident because he's so god damn tired and nothing happen, he was able to do it, not protected at all.

He's been through such a range of emotions for the past five days he's not even sure what the fuck he feels anymore.

The blondes been worried, frantic feeling, heartbroken, confused and even down right fucking pissed off. Mad at heaven and the other angels who seem to have succeeded in taking Izuku away from him. He's been mad at the greenett himself for not keeping his promise, wondering at times if Izuku had broken things off willingly without a word.

That doesn't seem likely tho. But honestly he's not sure what to think.

The blonde groans turning over in an empty bed that he now hates.

Crimson eyes land on what use to be the angels pillow.

The emptiness it now holds makes a crash of deep ache flood his chest.

Katsuki has never been overly emotional, hell he's been accused of having none at all in the past but a green eyed angel had changed all that, something he's actually cursing that angel for right now because he wouldn't be feeling so fucking lost and broken right now.

The blonde has even felt broken down enough in the past five days to even fucking cry and that's something he probably only let happen twice in his adult life but this God damn ache in his chest is so bad he wants to rip his damn heart out so just it stops throbbing with pain.