He Was Mine, I Was His

The Goodbye No One Wanted

“Guys!” I shouted to grab their attention, while shaking Johnny awake. “Guys!”

Two-Bit was the first to look away from the game. He saw the concern in my eyes and slammed his hand on the table to get the other’s attention. I quickly got up and took Ponyboy’s arm. He immediately dropped the phone and fell into me, sobbing. Darry ran up and took the phone.

“I knew it,” Pony sobbed into my chest. I didn’t know what else to do besides hold him. Pretty soon everyone was on their feet, huddled around Darry who had the same look Pony did. He hung up the phone.

“What the hell is going on?” Steve asked urgently.

“It’s Dally,” Darry said almost incoherently. The whole room sighed as if they knew something terrible had happened. Just like they suspected. “He’s been shot. It’s not good.”

“Fuck man,” Two-Bit cursed, running out of the house.

Just like that everyone followed without a word. Sodapop took Ponyboy out of my arms and followed Darry to his truck. We all followed him in our cars to the hospital.

“Shit man, I knew he was going to get himself in trouble. I knew it,” Two-Bit went on as he sat in my passenger seat. Johnny sat with us, silent.

“It’s going to be okay,” I said, not knowing what else to say on our way to the hospital to see if our friend was dead.

“Quit the bullshit Marilyn!” Two-Bit yelled. I flinched at his outburst and looked at him in shock. “Does this look like it’s going to be okay? That son of a bitch Matt better not have gotten him into trouble.”

We sat in silence. Johnny put his hand on my shoulder, probably unsure of what to say after that. I wanted to burst into tears but soon enough, we arrived at the hospital and it was time to put my game face on.

We all piled out of the car and ran through the hospital doors. Darry reached the front desk and asked for Dallas. The receptionist waved a police officer over. It was like everything was moving in slow motion. By that time, Soda had his arm wrapped around mine. He was terrified. They all were. I was trying to stay strong for them. They needed to know that they didn’t have to be, but after Two-Bit’s outburst, I wasn’t sure if I was prepared to do that.

The officer stopped in front of us, looking almost scared of our group, “Are you Darrel Curtis?”

“Yes. Where is Dallas?” Darry said coolly. We all waited on edge for his answer.

“Your friend is in surgery. He was shot trying to steal a car,” the cop explained.

“What happened?” Steve asked.

“Dallas Winston and Mattew Lepson were attempting to steal Officer Philman’s car. Philman caught them and Lepson started to fire. Philman fired back. He hit Winston in the chest and Lepson in the arm. Lepson is on the run.”

“He’s on the run but our friend is in the hospital?” Steve yelled.

“Look! Your hood friend is in here because he chose to be,” the cop yelled back.

“You keep talking about him like that and see what happens!” Two-Bit lunged. Darry held him back.

“Keep it up Keith and you’ll be in cuffs,” the officer replied, putting his hand on his gun. I knew things were getting out of control. It was too much power against none at all.

“Thank you officer,” I said calmly, pushing everyone to the seats in the waiting room.

Everyone sat down, most of them with their heads in their hands. Darry was knelt down in front of Two-Bit trying to calm him down but nothing was working. I sat in between Sodapop and Johnny, holding both of their hands. Johnny still had yet to say a word. Soda’s knee wouldn’t stop shaking.

“I knew Matt was going to get him into trouble,” he sighed.

I couldn’t say anything. I didn’t know what to say. I couldn’t say it was okay because Two-Bit was right. It wasn’t okay. Sodapop just got up and went to the bathroom to breathe. After a while, Two-Bit got up and took his spot next to me.

“I’m sorry Marilyn. I didn’t mean to yell at you. I-”

I cut him off by grabbing his hand and squeezing it. “It’s okay, Two. I know you’re stressed. I know you didn’t mean it.”

“Thanks for always understanding,” he replied, squeezing my hand back and returning to his seat as he saw Soda coming back.

Before Soda could sit down, a doctor approached our group. I felt a pit growing in my stomach as we all got to our feet. Everyone was frozen waiting for what the doctor had to say.

“Are you all friends or family of Dallas Winston?” The doctor asked.

“Brothers,” Steve said.

“Well,” the doctor gulped. “I’m sorry to inform you that the bullet caused too much damage to Dallas’ lungs. He didn’t make it through surgery. I can give you a list of options for funeral and grief support…”

I felt like I had stopped breathing. Two-Bit threw around curse words before storming out of the hospital. No one knew where he was going and no one asked. It was like the rest of us were cemented to the floor. I turned to Sodapop who had tears forming in his eyes. He lunged into me and held on to me so tight I thought I was going to suffocate. But I let him because what else was I supposed to do?

I couldn’t help but look at Johnny who was surrounded by everyone but looked so lonely. Everyone lost a brother that night, but he lost his best friend too. His hero who he thought was invincible was dead, gone. Something changed in everyone that night.

I brought Soda to the chairs so he could sit down. He was a wreck now. Darry was consoling Ponyboy and Johnny even while he was tearing up. Steve was gone. Probably chasing down Two-Bit who was either chasing down Matt or the bottom of a bottle. It killed me that Darry was trying so hard to stay strong so I pulled him over to sit with us. I held both Darry and Soda as they mourned their brother. Pony and Johnny sat together beside Darry, neither of them saying a word.

“He’s just a kid,” Darry whispered into my arm.

It felt like we sat there for an hour before Darry was able to drive home. He took his brothers and I took Johnny.

“Can we stop somewhere first?” He asked me quietly.

“Of course, Johnny. Where to?” I replied.

“Buck’s.”

I took him to Buck’s and let him go inside alone. In the car, I finally had my time to feel. I cried for the boys and for Dally. I knew their friend group would never be the same without him. I was going to miss his not so classy jokes and the smile he brought to his friend’s faces. I had hoped someday Dally would find a way out of this town and make a better name for himself but I think we all knew at some point or another, it would be the end of him.

Johnny came back out with a box. I didn’t have to ask to know what it was. It was all of Dally’s stuff. I was glad Johnny had it now.

“Let’s go home,” he said softly.

So we did. When we got back to the Curtis house, Darry was asleep on the recliner. I gently shook him awake.

“Go to bed Darry,” I suggested, giving him a soft smile.

“I want to be here if Steve or Two come back,” he replied groggily.

“Look, I’ll stay out here with Johnny. You deserve some rest,” I looked over to the couch where Johnny was already passed out, his hand laying on Dally’s box of stuff. “The boys are going to need you when they wake up.”

Darry finally agreed and stood up. He wrapped me in one of his bear hugs and just held me for a moment. I felt a tear drop on my head.

“Thank you, Marilyn. For looking out for us,” he said after pulling away.

“I always will,” I replied. “Now go get some rest.”

Darry left to go to bed and I sat down where he had been sitting. I looked at Johnny whose face was still tear-stained. I sighed. Things were going to be so different now. Too different.