He Was Mine, I Was His

One Year

 TW! The beginning of this chapter does contain the aftermath of Marilyn's sexual assault.

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   When we got home, Elizabeth had already left for work. That made me cry harder. I didn't want to have to explain all of this to her in the morning. 

    Ada was sitting on the couch when we walked in. She looked at me wide eyed. I could only imagine how much of a wreck I looked like to her. 

    "Honey it's past your bedtime. Go get ready for bed," I said, trying to sound as normal as possible. She ran into the bathroom to wash up.

    "I am not leaving you here all alone by yourself tonight," Cherry said, setting me down on the couch. "Marcia can you go back and grab a bag of my stuff? Make sure everyone is out of the house?"

    "You don't have to do that," I said. 

    "Yes I do. I wouldn't be a good friend if I just left you here."

    I gave in and let her stay. It didn't take much convincing, I was scared to be alone right now. Marcia left to go get her bag. Cherry got me a glass of water and a wet washcloth. She started to wipe the makeup off that was running down my face. Then Sodapop showed up. 

    He barged into the door, not even bothering to knock. I looked away from him, not wanting him to look at me. I didn't want anyone to see me like that even though half the school already did when Cherry walked me out of the house. 

    "I think you need to leave," Cherry said, standing up. 

    "I'm not leaving unless she tells me to," he said. 

    I could feel them both staring at me. I wanted him. I wanted him to wrap me in his arms and tell me everything was going to be okay. But I couldn't. I was already broken and if I opened up that door right now, I would shatter. I nodded, signaling him to leave. He sighed and walked out, slamming the door. 

    I cried again, "I'm sorry. I'm sorry." I felt bad for hurting him. But I was hurting too. It was too much to handle.

    Cherry sat down next to me and allowed me to lay my head on her shoulder. She repeated to me that I was safe and okay. I was so mentally exhausted that I fell asleep before Marcia could even get back.

    When I woke up in the morning, Cherry was gone but Elizabeth was sitting in the chair beside me. I felt like I had a hangover; headache, tiredness, the whole shebang. I sat up slowly and Elizabeth gave me some tea. She said it would help. Then I had the glory of telling her everything single thing that happened.
 
    She took it well. She said that it had happened to her once too. That some guy crashed her high school party, pre-fill cups, and drugged one. She said they used it as a game to find the person they drugged and do whatever they wanted to them. I was disgusted. Why would someone do that? How low do you have to be to do something like that?

    I stayed at home for the next few days. Ponyboy called a few times but I didn't answer. Elizabeth just took a message for me. Cherry stopped by a few times too. She wanted to make sure I wasn't alone. I appreciated it but all I wanted to do then was be alone. Well, maybe not completely. I did find myself wanting to be around one person. 

    One day, I impulsively drove to the Curtis house. I was upset and I felt like I needed a good old Curtis boy hug even if it wasn't from Sodapop. When I pulled up, Darry's truck was gone. I went up and knocked. There wasn't an answer. I knocked again and Darry opened the door. He looked like a wreck. He had a beer in his hand and tears in his eyes. 

    "Darry, what's wrong?" I asked, worriedly. 

    He suddenly broke down. His knees gave out and he fell to the floor. I met him on the ground and wrapped him into a hug. He cried loudly into my shoulder. I just ran my fingers through his hair. I remembered when he did this for me after opening my mom's letter. 

    "What's wrong Darry? Is everyone okay?" I asked, worried someone got hurt. 

    "I miss them," he sobbed. "Why did they have to leave? Why did they have to leave me with all of this? I'm trying my best! It's too much. I'm still just a kid."

    I knew he was talking about his parents. I felt terrible. Whenever I looked at Darry, I saw him as an adult. As the father of the house. He wasn't. Like he said. He had just turned 21 yesterday. He was still too young to be taking care of two teenagers. I had never imagined how much pressure that was on him. 

    "I'm so sorry Darry," I said, combing my fingers through his hair again. That would always calm Soda down. "I'm so sorry."

    He just sat there and cried. We sat together by the front door for a few minutes before he calmed down. He let go and sat up against the wall. I took the beer out of his hand and set it on the table. 

    "I yelled at them," he said. "I was so worked up. I was so upset and I yelled at them. Both of them. Ponyboy is slacking in school. Sodapop came home with a hangover. I told them I was tired of taking care of them. I didn't mean. I swear I didn't. I just get so tired sometimes. I get so stressed. I wish mom and dad never died."

    Soda? With a hangover? He had never drank like that. Never. What had we done to each other?

    "I know it hurts Darry. And they know you didn't mean it."

    Darry cut me off, "They think I did. They both ran off. Ponyboy ran out and then Soda did. Soda took my truck. They probably hate me."

    "You know they don't hate you. Listen. I want you to go take a shower. Let me take care of the boys okay?"

    Darry nodded. I helped him get up. "Sodapop is probably at the cemetery."

    I nodded. Darry went into the bathroom and I got into my car. I drove to the cemetery. Sure enough, Darry's truck was sitting there. I walked through the cemetery and found Soda sitting in front of one of the graves. He was crying. 

    "I want you to come back," he cried. "Darry can't handle it. Ponyboy can't. I can't. We need you. We're gonna fall apart. Darry is yelling at Pony all the time. Ponyboy's grades are dropping. I found the love of my life and I lost her. I let someone hurt her real bad. Momma if you were here, you'd give me the best advice to get her back. But you're gone. You're both gone. Why'd you both have to go?"

    I finally reached him, I sat down by him and just hugged him. He knew who it was so he just hugged me back. He kept crying. I looked at the grave. Their death date read: January 6th, 1965. It had been one year since they died. That must have been why it was hitting everyone so hard. 

    "Thank you," he said softly. 

    "You're welcome," I replied. 

    He lifted his head. I wiped a tear away from his eye. "You know your brother didn't mean what he said."

    "I know. Today is just hard for everyone. I feel bad for Darry."

    "It would really make him feel better if you guys came back."

    "I will," he said. "It would really make me feel better if you came back."

    I sighed but then smiled. I couldn't stay away from him. I still loved him too much. "You promise you are over her?"

    "Who?" He joked. We both laughed.

    "You know what happened to me isn't your fault right? It's neither of ours."

    He nodded slightly, "Do you still love me?"

    "Forever and always," I replied.