Never Again

Numb

Added a song that goes with this chapter above ^

I lay in bed, my thoughts going a million miles per hour. I try to focus on at least one of them but to no avail I can't. I feel paralyzed as I try and move my body. I want to sleep so badly but I know I can't. The throbbing in my head strengthens and I slightly whimper at the harsh light shining down.

I'm so weak.

 I try and push down the intrusive thoughts but it only makes them scream louder. It only makes me hate myself more. I slowly begin to lift myself from bed that now has blood stained sheets. I rise to my feet and stumble to the door. It's like it just hit me with a brick. The realization of my cruel reality, of my destined truth.

It seems dumb, but to me the realization was painful, and scary. That this. All of this was so wrong on so many levels. I knew that deep down but for some reason I still got up, and made breakfast like any other day. I still trained as hard as I would if I was completely fine. Still wanting to prove to her that I'm not weak. But more than anything, to prove to ME that I was not weak. 

I swallow my thoughts and keep pushing through the day. Through the horrible thoughts that lingered my mind. Because at least I'd be able to relieve the stress later. 

It started as a punishment for my crimes. For the sins I had committed throughout my life. But they eventually turned to a relief system. I could turn all my mental pain and vulnerability to physical distress. The pain I feel reminds me that I'm alive. The anger that boiled in my blood dissolved into nothing. Now I walk in this world numb, tired, and hurt. I feel I have no purpose. That I truly am just weak.

"Oi brat your dads here come say hi!"

The old hag calls from the living room. Which I don't know if it can be called that anymore. I wish they would just leave me alone. I contemplate just ignoring her instead of listening. Though despite my thoughts I get up and limp into the living room.

"Hey Katsuki, I got this from the mailbox today." My dad states while waving the mail

Even without him explaining I immediately knew what it was. I snatched it from his hands and muttered a "thanks" before going back to my room ignoring the complaints the old hag spat. I opened it and out came what I assume to be a mini projector. There was a hologram of Allmight congratulating me for getting in to UA. Also explaining how I came first and shit. 

I wasn't surprised but I was a bit proud. But all the pride came crashing down when I told my parents.

"And? That's what I expect of you. what, do you want me to give you a prize."

It hurt but I knew that's how she would react. But what hurt more was my dad ignoring me and instead dashing out the door with the reason that work needed him. As if I didn't need him. I was angry at my parents for being such douche bags.  For never caring about me. For making excuses to ignore me rather than just getting it over with. 

I realized I'm not welcomed nor cared for in this world. That I will always just be "that straight A kid. the rich kid, the delinquent. " I could tell you a million more things extras call me. And I swear to you that I could probably come up with a million more. 

I walk back to my room and sit on my disgusting bed that creaks at any movement done. It has stained blood and old sheets that rarely get washed. My room has holes in the walls and barely anything in it other than my desk, closet, and bed. I'm not allowed "unnecessary" decorations. I lay down while avoiding the stains. I sigh deeply at whats awaited 3 months from now. 

I don't feel happy anymore. I just feel..

Numb.

A/N- Sorry this chapters kinda short, but let me know if you want me to add anything to the story like a different POV. Maybe even Mistukis 😙