Never Again

First day

A/N- I wrote this really late and I'm very sleep deprived so I'm sorry for any errors

Today's the day UA classes start and I couldn't be happier to get away for most of the day. Of course I'm going to train to be the best hero but I also get a break from home. "An escape" you might call it. Doesn't mean I'm gonna slack off anytime soon though. If I wanna stay alive to be the next hero I have to perfect. I have to get top scores and be ahead in my class. I have to make the most impressive and fast improvement with my quirk. I have to get a "girlfriend" who's also smart and rich. And lastly I have to be the number 1 hero.

Not that I truly want all of that. For starters I don't care for money and I don't care if their extremely smart. I also don't really care for getting a girlfriend. I may be purposely oblivious to my mom but I know that I don't exactly like girls like that. 

I would stare at guys in magazines a bit too long, and stare at them from afar. I would have thoughts for guys that I've never had for girls. My heart would race when a handsome guy would come up to me. But I had always willed myself to ignore the obvious signs as a child.

But as I got older I realized something, or a lot of things. First, why should I give a fuck. And second, I'm in love with my childhood best friend. Sure there were times I thought he was cute but that was just a measly crush. Something I could forget about and would laugh about in the mere future.

As it started to grow I couldn't have but one single thought.

"Well, I'm fucked"

I stand by that statement to this day as the one person who I hurt and betrayed but also was in love with, walked through the big ass door that widely stated 1A.

The weird glasses kid finally left from lecturing me to apologizing to deku. I felt guilt guilt crawl up my skin and I couldn't help but stare. That's when a girl with brown hair and caramel eyes came in. She looked plain and didn't stand out all that much. But deku seemed to be flustered by her and I felt jealousy cave its way in to my jungle of emotions. She didn't look like anything special and a bit weak to.

I cursed my old habit and tried to shake it off. I didn't want to be like her but it was so god damn hard not to resort to all the horrible habits I learned from a young age. Heroes don't act like that. And I want to be a hero. The best hero.

Though deep down I didn't know if that's all I really wanted.

My thoughts were interrupted when who I think to be the teacher arose from a sleeping bag? He looked tired and worn out. There were very few photos of him but I knew who he was. Even if it didn't seem like it I always paid attention to Izukus ramblings about heroes. This was underground pro hero Eraserhead. Izuku admired him for the way he fought, and for his use of his quirk. He especially felt hope from the fact at how he basically fights quirkless. He thought that if Eraser could then he could to. And I was happy he found that hope for himself. Not that I'd ever tell him that.

He told us to get dressed in our gym clothes and to go outside. I felt a bit nervous on how I was gonna cover the scars and slight bruises from the extras. I didn't need to worry about my arms because I wore arm sleeves covering them.  I resorted to trying to make it seem like I was angry. That way even if they did notice then they wouldn't dare ask.

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Unfortunately for me some damn extras can't keep their damn mouth shut. "Hey bro where'd you get that scar on your back."  Of fucking course he asked about that out of all the scars I had. My nerves spiked and I felt myself to begin to lightly shake. I hated that scar with all of my life. It had so much trauma attached to it. It had so many memories that I could never let myself forget. It was the one scar I couldn't stand. But I had to answer so I gathered all my breath and prayed that I wouldn't let my voice crack.

"NONE OF YOUR DAMN BUSINESS EXTRA!"

He backed away with a scared face planted on. "Jeez it was just a question." I tsked and  hurriedly put the shirt on before anyone else could ask. I caught a glance at Izuku and we made eye contact. He looked like he wanted to say something but couldn't. As everyone started to leave he pulled me aside. 

"Are you alright kacchan?" I stared at him for a bit before stiffly nodding.

His stare hardened and he placed both his hands on my shoulders. "Are you sure? I know that its a sensitive topic for you. And please don't lie."

I let out a shaky breath and pushed his hands off my shoulders. "Don't worry about me like I'm weak." I started walking away but he grabbed my hands and turned me around. "That's not what I think at all kacchan. I just want make sure your okay."

I stare at him for a bit before taking my hands out of his grasp. "Tch whatever.."

I walk away to where everyone else is. My thoughts are racing and I try my best to slow them down. 'Damn nerd making me feel like that.'

"Nice of you two to join us." Eraser states monotone. I see Izuku blush out of embarrasment whilst I simply shrug.

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After almost all of the physical test there was only one more and one person left to complete it. Izuku had came last in all of them so he was gonna need to do good. Or else he may be expelled on the first day. I had no idea what he was gonna do considering he's quirkle- Just as I was about to finish my thought.

Swoosh.

He used his... quirk..?

But how? How the hell does he have a quirk? Has he been taunting me this entire time. Talking about how weak and dumb I was to not figure it out sooner. 

I expressed my emotions and started to run up to him. "Damn deku.. HOW THE HELL DID YOU DO THAT?!!"

I felt something envelope me and I realized it was erasures scarf. I continued to watch how deku froze and stood in fear at the sight of me. It hurt but I had no right to feel that way. I bullied him and hurt him for years. But at the same time I couldn't stand being the one he was scared of rather than the one he went to for help.

Erasure or Mr. Aizawa I suppose raised his voice to snap me from my thoughts. I flinched from the sudden change of tone and prayed no one saw. I realized the full situation of what happened and started to freak out. I felt suffocated in his scarf and wanted out. He finally let me go and I tried to get myself together. 

I felt everyone's  eyes on me and thoughts along with it. 

They think your taking too much time.

They all see you as weak and disruptive. 

The voice whispers into my ear. The same voice that swore to protect me with walls of iron. I hate this situation. I hear shuffling and people walking away. Footsteps come closer and closer till they stop in front of me.  

I look up and I see deku with that round face girl in front of me. "Are you sure your alright? Lets get you to the infirmary." She said it so kindly that it pissed me off. But at the moment I couldn't focus on that. He waved her off and crouched down to me. When did I crouch to the floor? 

He reached his hand out and I flinched. I saw his hand had now a broken finger. He stopped momentarily and then started inching closer again. He lifted my chin up to his face and made sure I was looking at him. Round face looked confused and decided it was private so she walked off. 

"I can't explain it right now but I didn't lie to you about being quirkless before."

I wanted to hug him at the moment but I instead pushed it aside. I didn't deserve him. I really didn't and I knew that. 

I scoff and look away, "we should head to class now before the extras worry their butts off about you." He nodded before giving me a look of disapproval at what I called them. I knew he wasn't actually mad so it didn't affect me. 

I made my way back to class whilst Izuku went to the infirmary. I had a million questions with zero answers.