Never Again

Comfort

A/N- Hey sorry this chapter took a little while but I'm going to be trying to post every Wednesday and Saturday from now on. I'm also going to redo some of the first few chapters, and I highly recommend to reread them when I do! Anyways I hope you guys enjoy this chapter and have a great day!

WARNING- Includes slight cussing and mention of panic attacks.

I look at the scores and smile at my screen. I won by a few points, and even if its not much I still feel pride. Izuku pouts at this and turns to me. "One day I'll beat you kacchan." I smirk and walk off to another game. "Sure nerd" and as I walked I heard a faint giggle.

As I look for another game, my thoughts came rushing to me. They smashed into me at full force and I felt myself slightly sway. I look down at the floor and I let them overtake my head. They varied from insults to assumptions to the inspiring words my mom has spat at me. I felt eyes on me from all directions and the thoughts got louder. Yelling in my ear about how worthless I was. How it's my fault my mother hates me.

They came out of nowhere. Maybe I wasn't suffering enough for their satisfaction.

I pause my walking as I feel my breath quicken. I curse in between breaths and I try to walk to the exit. The thoughts yell louder as I try to ignore them. God I wish they'd just shut up. I start to hyper ventilate as I felt someone grab my arm. They started to drag me and I couldn't breathe. I felt suffocated, just as I did when I was attacked by the villain. 'What are they doing' I thought. Fight or flight mode kicked in and I felt worse.

All logic wen't out the window as I shoved the person to the ground. I ran to the exit and out the door. I ran to the side of the building and crouched. The air stung my lungs as I tried my best to concentrate on it. My vision became blurry and I felt tears start to trickle down my cheeks.

Every time I heard people talking or I heard their steps, I would sink deeper into my body. I look so weak. Why am I so pathetic. I should just DIE. Just as she says. No one wants a broken, weak toy as a hero.

I pull at my hair to try and get my thoughts at bay. It doesn't work. And I feel helpless and weak. I hear someone coming towards me and I freeze. What if it's a villain?

I look up with my eyes hesitantly and I'm met with worried green ones. "Kacchan.." He bends down and opens his arms. I can't move. I'm frozen with fear and I can't get out of my head. I see him but what if hes not really there. What if hes a villain in disguise.

He sees this and slowly wraps me in his arms. He rocks me back in forth and I grip his shirt. "Hey kacchan, it's okay. You're okay." He gently coos me and I slightly relax in his embrace. I feel his fingers entangle in my hair and he tells me to focus on that. He avoids putting to much pressure on my neck and I feel myself question how he knew. "Try and match my breathing, okay?" I stiffly nod and focus on matching our breaths. "It's okay if you want to cry. It doesn't make you weak, and I won't judge you." I want to but I argue against it.

"It's just you and me right now, and me. I'll always be right by your side so don't you go thinking I'm not."

I feel my relax and I cant hold it in anymore. I let sobs escape my lips and I don't hold back. This reminds me of the last time we talked. I feel regret and guilt wash over me.

"Why..Why are you still... Here?"

I snuggle into his chest and I let the embarrassment go over my head. I let my pride go. Because right now, here in this moment, it's just us. I don't have to be tough and untouchable with him. "Because I care about you. I always have and I always will."

I sigh and I breathed a chuckle. "Of course you'd say something like that." He giggled at my comment and laid his head atop of mine. He hummed and we stayed like that for a few more minutes as I calmed down. I didn't want to let go but I had to eventually.

When I felt I could stand without collapsing to the ground, I got up and wiped my face. Izuku got up as well and we slowly walked back. I felt a sudden spike of fear as we got closer to the entrance. Though I didn't want to admit it out loud I still slowed my pace until I completely stopped. He turned back to me and gave me a worried look. His mouth turned down and his eyes slightly squinted. His eyebrows scrunched along with his nose and his cheeks puffed out a bit.

Three words that I could never seem to get right, crossed my mind.

I pushed them aside though and took a deep breath. I pushed through the doors and walked into the cold arcade. Izuku tapped my shoulder and offered his hand. I wanted to take it. But can I? Is it really okay? No.

I can't I would just be more of a burden than I already am. I slowly pushed his hand down and reassured him that I was fine. Well if "damn deku! I don't need your stupid hand" is reassuring I suppose. I couldn't be more weak than I already have been.

Before we continued to out friends I asked deku who I pushed. "Ah you pushed Kirishima, but thankfully it didn't seem like he was mad or hurt." I sigh out of relief. I had a gut feeling that he would be the most understanding of what happened. Though do I even deserve his forgiveness?

No. You don't deserve anyone's forgiveness.

Right, I do not deserve anyone's forgiveness. Nor will I ever. Especially a certain someones.

We keep walking towards where everyone else is, and I feel my nerves spike again. To an overbearing amount. But I have to put up a front so no one notices. I put on a scowl in placement. We stop walking as we stand in front of the group. Shitty hair, soy sauce face, dunce face, pink cheeks, and raccoon eyes.

I scowl harder as I feel myself have the urge to run. To hide from all their stares. But I refuse to back down and hide from my fears. "Tch, sorry if I hurt you or whatever. I wasn't exactly aware of what I was doing."

I felt dekus eyes scan me from head to toe. He scrunched his nose and closed his eyes showing he was frustrated. "It's alright man! We're all cool." Shitty hair gave me a thumbs up and I rolled my eyes.

"Alright if we're all done with being down in the dumps, then lets go play some games!" Raccoon eyes cheered.

I tched as I walked off while everyone else scattered. I stood near the concessions and just stood there. I felt at peace with the rare quietness. But of course a certain green haired nerd can't let me have that peace.

"Sorry kacchan I just wanted to make sure you were okay."

"Of course I'm okay" I tilt my head back and rest it on the wall.

He nods and stands beside me. "I really do care kacchan, and I want to help..."

He pauses and takes a deep breath. "But.. I can't if you keep trying to block me out like this. You always have and always will be my best friend." He looks at me and we lock eyes.

"I lo-"

*Crash*