Chapter 30: Humility

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Susant awakened on the roof of the dorms. He could still feel his head throbbing, but the pain had significantly subsided. His clothes were still damp from the rain, but the sun had come out with no clouds to hinder her, and she had already dried him quite a bit.

              Sitting up and looking out at the empty sky, Susant didn't realize when he naturally took the meditation posture. Closing his eyes, he thought back to the night before. Everything had been real. The dream he had in Kingdom had been a vision of the future. 

              But why? Why a dream of the future? What was the world trying to tell him?

              Susant sighed. What did it matter? He had broken his vows, and it seemed as if his sickness upon eating the apple had been the punishment. It had been a severe punishment to say the least; being the worst pain he had ever experienced in his life.

              After sitting with his thoughts for over an hour, Susant realized he needed to make a choice. He had broken his vow, but did he truly intend to not fulfill it? Was it meaningless to continue what he had started because he had made a mistake?

              He knew the girl would no longer teach him, as he would not lie to her about what had happened. Everything seemed to be in vain, yet something deep within him nudged him otherwise. He had come all this way to learn about his dream, and he had learned something. Even though he had yet to discover the true meaning behind it, he felt that he was on the right path.

              If my dream was a premonition of the future, then it was bound to happen . . . That can only mean that I have followed the path as it was set before me. Regardless, I must make my choice. To keep walking, or to let the true failure sink its teeth into me. 

              Finally standing to his feet, Susant took a long, deep breath.

              I haven't been trying as hard as I could have been. My father always used to tell me that one should always put everything they have into everything they do. I have been holding back until now. Out of fear, out of doubt, I have been wasting my time here. I no longer intend to do that.

              Susant felt the wind on his cheeks. It comforted him, and for the first time since he had arrived at the monastery, he could feel himself truly smiling. 

              I will learn.

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