Puppets in Uniform ~~ An Apply Fic

𝔸𝕟𝕕𝕪

TW: Mentions of attempted suicide, panic attack. Please skip at the Purple Hearts if these are harmful topics to you.

I glared at the eyeliner in the mirror. It was crooked, one side was too heavy, and the other was too long. The sparkles shimmered with a hidden malice I didn't appreciate.

My phone dinged; Lance's contact popped up.

Lance: Is it okay if there's a change of plans? I was thinking of asking Adam to go but I sort of blurted it out to you for a dare...

Rhea: It's all good! Have fun with Adam, but not too much fun ;)

Lance: Rhea! That is so gross!

Rhea: Just saying. I'd offer you a condom but I'm gay too King

Lance: Bitch same. How'd you know?

Rhea: Adam's face got red when you joked about getting bitches. I didn't think it looked like embarrassment, so I sensed my gaydar going off.

Lance: ...
Lance: that is the dumbest shit I've ever.

Rhea: The dumbest shit is the most believable because it's so dumb.

Lance: That makes zero sense. I'll just take your word for it.

Rhea: exactly.

I smiled, setting down the brush. Blush exploded in powder form, the palette clattering against the tile. Lance may not be my brother, but he was damn good at filling the familial role.

A knock came from the door, Anya's voice chimes through the door. "Andy! I need to do mine and Valerie's make up."

A sigh seemed to echo through my chest. Exhaustion clung to my body with a burning hatred.

"Okay! I'm almost done!" I reply, hurriedly picking up my mess. The powder clung to my fingers and swarmed the air. I sneezed, once, twice and glared at the palette some more.

The door opened and Anya giggled like a little kid. Valerie was standing behind her.

"God, go get Liana to do your makeup or something! This looks like a five-year-old did it." Valerie laughed, kicking me out. I grumbled a few creative insults at the closed door.

Liana was sitting on her bed, make up of many colors scattered about the comforter. The sun was cutting through the air, making it seem like she was glowing.

"Hey, could you help me with my makeup, Liana?" I asked, looking down at the floor with embarrassment.  I felt terrible asking for help! Especially over something so silly!

"Yeah, of course!" Liana smiled at me, moving over some pallets and brushes for me. I plopped down; my cheeks were turning red from embarrassment.

Make up brushes were puffed against my face, glitter flying through the air. She was so focused, fixing up the makeup. "Hey, want to take a look?" Liana asked, pulling up a mirror from behind her. I nodded, still quiet.

Purple eyeshadow and white sparkles were all over my eyelids. I looked like an alien of sorts!

"Thank you!" I squealed, giving her a quick and abrupt hug. "This looks amazing! I should get you to do my make up every time." I laughed, running off to change. Liana laughed as well, waving goodbye to me as I ran off to the bathroom.
✨✨✨

The girls left early. That was good for me. Why? Eleanor had called me. She was one of my friends back in San Francisco... I had quite a few. But then I left...

My phone vibrated against my jean pocket; I shook off the dread I was feeling and replaced it with the bubbly, cheerful girl I had been at West Point High. Which wasn't even at any "west". I didn't want to talk about it. Everything was beeping. What's happening?! Why am I here?! It rung once before I slipped my fingers into the denim pocket.

My fingers fumbled for a second, I went farther into the shelves, pressing accept.

💜💜💜

"Andrea, what the hell is everyone telling me?!" Eleanor exclaimed, loud gasps coming through the phone. Was she crying?!

Why are they all smiling?! I don't want to get better! Stop it!

"I don't know, what are they saying?" I asked, tapping a finger against the books supporting my back. She huffed through the phone.

"They're... they're saying you attempted..." Eleanor trailed off, my chest closed up. Shame, embarrassment, anger...

stop it! Don't give me those looks of pity.... I want my mom back....

"Yeah, well, they say whatever they want at school to get rumors off their backs. Everyone thought Kenzie Smith was pregnant until someone said Carter on the basketball team had sex with Mr. Andrew. There is no end to the rumors at West Point High School." I was dodging the question, bringing up all the oldest, craziest ones I could think of. Why'd she bring that up now?!

"You can't tell him! My dad will be crushed.... I'm 18 I promise. I can do all my paperwork. Just do not tell my guardian."

I was getting better! I was! Suddenly, I hated the idea of going to the dance. Even more then I had before.

"Yeah... I guess you're right. Sorry for calling you out of nowhere, I just was super worried and a little betrayed-" Her voice drowned out... my chest was contracting, my skin felt too tight! "Allie won't stop bringing it up either! -" tears were pooling on my cheeks, hiccups racking my chest. "Everyone seems to be way more conscious about their comments now though-"

"She has four broken ribs. A broken arm and a very bruised thigh. It's lucky that someone called when they did! She was going to bleed out if we hadn't gotten there when we did." Lucky? I wanted my mommy.

"Eleanor." I gasped out, trying to stop the shaking attacking me in waves. I felt terrified!

"Huh? What's up?" She replied, her endless rant finally over. My finger dug into my palms, the pain slightly clearing my head.

"I'm going to call you back later, okay? Okay. Great." I finished, ending the call. Hiccups racked at my chest; air seemed to escape my lungs as easily as the wind.

Would this ever end? I can barely handle hearing the mention of my attempt... or my mother! How will I ever get better?!

The scream I released hadn't even registered until I had felt all drained. My anger, shame, sadness, fear. All of it had come out in that.

"Daddy, I want mama back..."

"I know Andrea. I want her back too."