Trust | 2 |

Chapter Forty-Seven

Chére journal,

It's hard to find a place to begin. So much has happened in my life since I've last written. Some very recently to where I don't even know if I've processed it all yet.

The very real threat of Thanos looms in my mind constantly. He's possibly the first living thing I've faced that's truly terrified me. He's a titan from space who makes a living off of slaughtering innocents all over the galaxy. It's some sort of mercy genocide thing in his eyes. Now he's collecting Infinity Stones and I can only imagine it's to speed up his process.

I faced off against him. He beat Hulk so easily and left the beast terrified. So scared, Hulk won't make a reappearance. After that I just wanted to kill Thanos. Then, I wanted him to kill me. I wasn't strong enough to fight him off. I don't even know how I truly survived. But now, I'm terrified.

He's coming after Earth again. I don't know why they didn't stay to try and find the Mind stone as well. Right- they got the Time stone. Along with Strange, Peter, and Tony. That makes me want to scream losing them. They better not get hurt let alone killed otherwise I don't know what I'd do. Somehow I've come to care for them all in a special way. I don't know.

But now I don't know what the plan is. We have to protect Vision because they will be coming back to get that Mind stone. My only worry is we won't be able to hold off Thanos os scare him off or kill him. He's too strong. He's too powerful. I don't know if we're powerful enough.

~~

Bruce and I had arrived at the compound right as Rhodes was taking a call from Secretary Ross. I made a point of avoiding his sight completely and was able to grab my new arm Tony told me about and a tool kit I saw near it. After I had them in my hand, I bolted out of there to go to my room, leaving Bruce as well.

Now in my room, I was able to get the old arm off. It was a very difficult angle and I had to use the mirror in my bathroom to help me see everything I was doing. Once it was off and in a pile on my bathroom counter, I took a change break.

My Sakaarian armor was filthy, damaged, and brought back some awful memories. Every time I saw myself in it, I could only think of the past week. "God I hope Val is okay..." I whispered to myself. I didn't even remember who was able to escape the ship and who was left to die.

Getting out of the armor was difficult and I swore quite a few times trying to peel it off. When I did get it off, I felt so relieved. I found a tank top, a sports bra, and some leggings to put on. I also grabbed socks to keep my feet warm.

Again, one handed anything is difficult, but putting clothes on might be at the top of my list today. Socks were super easy, leggings definitely caused my some trouble, don't get me started on the sports bra, and the tank top was an easy end to the struggle.

Now it was time to put the arm on. I knew it would be difficult but goddamn I didn't think it would be this awful. I had to sit on my bed and twist in such a way that I could hold the arm in between my legs and try to attach it.

When the screw clattered to the floor for the third time, I was done. "Shit!" I screamed and chucked the tool in my hand across the room. It landed in the wall, handle out as if making it more convenient to grab later.

I took the arm and wanted to throw it out the window but managed to be satisfied with dropping it to the ground. Leaning forward, I put my elbow on my knee then my head in my newly available hand.

This was all too much. I didn't know what I was doing and I didn't know how to deal with all of this and what to expect in the coming weeks, days, hours.