two kinds of tears (c!dream)

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If you ask me, there are two kinds of crying. Some may say more, like how we have many emotions, some may say less, but in my experience, it's never anything but two.

The first one is gentle, it's like summer rain. It's what happens when you're really happy, like at a wedding, or when receiving a thoughtful gift, or when you read that one sentence that makes you feel seen, makes you feel like you're not alone in your struggles. You can be sad too, like when you're watching a movie, where the ending is oh so bittersweet, where the hero wins, the villain is defeated, but a sacrifice had to be made. These tears are welcomed, they're relieving, they lift the burden off your shoulders and let you breathe, even if only for a few moments. These tears are cold, gently caressing your cheeks in a manner others gladly accept. These tears are for others to see, to notice, to share. These tears are beautiful.

The second one is foul. It is what happens when you're alone, when the dam cracks and shatters, when you let out a scream. A scream that lasts until your body no longer allows it. And along with the scream comes tears. They're hot, burning, one has barely left the eye before the next takes its place. You wipe your nose. These tears hurt, oh how they hurt. They tangle together into a knot around your throat, tightening, squeezing. These tears leave your pillows damp where they land, but you don't care. These tears are not for anyone, not even yourself. You hate it. These tears are ugly.

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