See The Stars [Completed]

Chapter Twenty

I was held tightly in Tory's arms and I felt I was shaking. I sniffled loudly and nobody spoke. It was silent in my living room except for the wind that was rocking my window pane. I forgot that it was still so early in the morning. I never thought Dr. Kimberly would pick up her phone but she came running. She must've thought the worst. And Tory, how would I face him again? I wish that I was good enough. For people to know, to make them stay. 

“You know what I think?” Tory broke the silence. I looked up at him.

“It wasn’t anyone's fault. It was just what was supposed to happen. Sometimes we can’t control how things happen. And all we can do is think and think. What if I had passed from the road five minutes later? Would my life be different? Would I regret it less? Maybe. But what has happened will not change. And we can only look ahead if we want to move on.” I tried to take his words in. But it felt like my mind was on the block. Dr. Kimberly chuckled. 

“You put what I wanted to say in words. Which hospital do you work at as a doctor?” She joked and we all smiled. Then she looked at me.

“I know what is holding you back now. You blame yourself but you blame Ronan for blaming you. Grief is a very strong thing and that day, you both lost your fathers and your best friends. Whatever was said that day, it is better to forget it. If we look from his point of view, he felt like he needed to distance himself from you because he thought he was the problem. And all you wanted was the things to go back to normal and thus you were trying to hold onto him.” 

“What do I do now?” I mumbled. 

“Forgive yourself.” 

“How?” 

“By forgiving him.” 

“How do I forgive him when I don’t even know what I am mad at him for? I just want us to be strangers and start over again. Because it is impossible to even be friends after what happened.” 

“No. It is not impossible. If you have the will to overcome it, even for him, you will. Humans are scary. If they want to do something, they will do it.” 

“But it seems impossible.” 

“Because you are scared of getting hurt. Now it is your choice if you want to be friends with him or not but I advise you to forgive yourself and him.” She paused and looked over at the kitchen counter. 

“And please give me the keys to the root cellar. No alcohol. No medicines. No nothing. And since your friend….” She trailed off not knowing his name.

“Tory.” 

“Yes, now that Tory knows about it, whenever you feel like you need to have anything, you must call him.” She turned to Tory. “ And please give me your number and keep checking up on her.” 

“Yes. Of course.” 

“And please Darla, get out of the house. You are on a very famous vacation spot for god's sake.” She got up and we all chuckled. There were some other words exchanged. And my heart felt less stuffy than my nose. It felt nice to have people I could talk to. And Tory, God bless his kind soul. He stayed. He stayed throughout the day and night.  

We cuddled in my bed and watched some movies and I mostly slept. I was so tired. And the wine was still in my system. I had lunch and dinner. And when I woke up the next morning, he was gone with a note on my table. 

I'll come back to check up on you after my shift. Don’t even try anything. I left you a list of movies, just watch them. There is a ton of food in the fridge. And if I see that you haven’t eaten anything, I will shove it down your nose.